I still have not read the book. I have tried a couple of times, but it hasn't gripped me yet. I may try again . . . but for now, I'll just respond to what you wrote.
I guess I've never looked at the sometimes frequent frustrations with my children as resentment towards them or my life. Usually my frustrations with my kids are based on my own mood, temperment, tiredness, or feelings of inadequacies in myself . . . and none of those are based on "resentment."
However, I did have a similar realization several months ago with regards to my marriage. I found I was resentful of J. in many, many ways but mostly with the idea that he "needed" me. Why did a grown man need me?!?! Especially when he had to obviously see I had many little children needing me all the time. I first realized how poorly I was behaving and how I was harboring such harsh judgments while observing my own mother and how she treated my dad. I realized that some unhealthy patterns had been set. I noticed there was constant blame or resentment or the attitude of "I'm doing everything for his sake" rather than claiming her life as her own. Does that make sense?
What I'm trying to say is . . . I like what you wrote. I like the quotes. And I've had similar thoughts/feelings but not in regards to my children . . . more towards my husband. And once I realized the resentments I was harboring and let them go, our marriage took a 180 turn! It was amazing!!! (then I got pregnant again . . . but that soon shall pass). I literally fell in love with him all over again! No more holding things over his head as if it was his fault I wasn't completely happy. Anyway . . . those are my thoughts. And like I said, I haven't read the book, so maybe my thoughts don't match your thoughts . . . but this is what your thoughts made me think of. :-)