Fabulous!! Wonderful!! Awesome!!! Incredible!!!
I couldn't resist. I read the whole BYU speech that Julia posted the link to, and it made me laugh when he talked about refraining from using all those over-the-top adjectives. I can think of several members (especially missionaries) who seem to talk like that all the time.
So some of my thoughts on the article:
I definitely came away desiring to create a more cultured, refined home. I can think of things we are doing well, and areas in which we could improve. Without really realizing it, I have been feeling prompted to create more of this type of atmosphere in our home through our home-school. I've been wanting to incorporate more exposure to good music, fine art, and poetry into our home. I've also been weeding through our books and trying to remove those that we wouldn't consider "classics" for us. "Out of the best books" has been my focus there.
I grew up in a home wherein we had a refined eating atmosphere that I have not recreated to the same extent. My mom always had a properly set table with linen napkins and everything. I'm more of the throw a few dishes out and grab the cups on our way to the table sort of cook right now. I never remember to have the table set before the meal is ready. I'd like to improve in that area. I think it encourages polite manners and appropriate conversation.
I thought the phrase "Heaven blushes" was such an interesting way to get an idea across. I wouldn't want to be the cause of that blush.
What did you think about the wife beautifying herself before her husband comes home? Was that in the Ensign article too? I can imagine some women having issues with that.
I USED to try to have the house picked up before Josh walked in the door - mostly to make it look like I accomplished something that day. Around 4pm I would have the kids help with a general clean-up before we started cooking dinner. That way if he came home early or late, things were usually in a more organized state. I should be sure to keep doing that.
I've also been trying to look nice in general so that I don't feel frumpy - and so that Josh can see the best me, not only when company is coming but most days. It's hard work, especially in the new baby phase. And I have to give myself a little slack some days. (Speaking of new baby - she is 3 months old today!)
Like you, Andrea, we don't have TV in our home. There are still plenty of opportunities to exposure to popular culture through movies and internet. We still have to be choosy. There are certain shows that, no matter how popular they are with friends and family, I still choose not to spend my time on. Either I don't like the content, or I realize that I have limited time and for me that is not a good use of my time.
I also don't think my kids are missing out on anything by not getting regular doses of Sponge-Bob or Dora the Explorer. (Although, Josh seems to make sure they are all up to date with Star Wars, GI Joe, Spiderman, and other things that he loved as a kid...still loves).
Very timely article. As the world gets more slovenly it will take more effort to create a refined home, but obviously it's a necessary thing. We have to practice living a heavenly life on earth, in order to be prepared to live it in heaven.
Monday, June 1, 2009
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Refined Home
Sorry Ju, I waited and waited and waited but then I had to post. I STILL want to hear what YOU have to say though, so no copping out on me. Congrats to Brooklyn though--that's awesome!!
I had numerous thoughts as I read through the Refined Home article, but when I got to the end all I could think was, "Wow! How timely, how needed, how important, and how inspirational." I also thought that a whole lot of people were going to be offended--but that seems to be happening with increased frequency when the brethren lay it on the line. Or maybe my hopeless naivete is rearing its ugly head again and people have always been offended when the brethren laid things on the line.
First, I have to agree with Elder Maxwell as quoted in the talk, "We . . . live in a world that is too prone to the tasteless" (57). Amen and amen. My students used to try and convince me that the Simpsons was humorous because I had a "no talking about the Simpsons in my classroom" rule. They didn't manage it. Mary Tyler Moore was asked once why she had stopped acting and she replied that she would love to be involved but had chosen not to because the shows were no longer tasteful and that "television no longer knows how to be funny." Turning off the television in our home (we don't have access to any sort of television, although we watch movies) was a no-brainer for us. Although some shows like Frazier had elements of true humor (word play and irony), most current shows rely on non-humor (bodily functions, crude situational humor, slapstick violence) to get ratings. If these shows are getting ratings as can only be assumed by their continued existence, then Elder Maxwell's stinging rebuke about tastelessness is proved without additional evidence.
Of course, if we examined many popular music styles and hit songs, the tasteless argument would be underscored and solidified. It was with some regret that I stopped listening to current country music, but the genre that had always emphasized lyrics and story-telling had become reliant on blasting instruments and loud-volume singing--not to mention that frivolous increase in swearing and songs like "I'm just talking about tonight" and pimp songs like "whose your daddy?" (Yes, I think Toby Keith killed country music.) There are still some great songs, but far more that hinder the Spirit and make me feel attacked. (Kami is going to mock me here because I've always been an old lady about loud music--I just have no tolerance.)
In short--tastelessness abounds. Elder Callister offered some valuable remedies and counter-actions we can take to prevent our own homes from harboring and fostering tastelessness. I thought it especially appropriate that he starts off by discussing how we speak. And yes, I'm opening myself up to mocking again because I don't care how accepted it has become, the words "suck" and "crap" still make me shudder. I love that in my home, the worst word my children say is "stinkin'" and I've already tried to repent and stop saying it. Truly, what the parents say the children imitate and the cleaner we keep our language the more pleasant our home environment.
Granted, Elder Callister was talking about more than just clean language, he was also talking about expressing ourselves clearly and eloquently. Language has always affected me deeply and I often thrill when I read words put together beautifully. For that reason I love collecting quotes that express great ideas in beautiful language. Truly, a person's language greatly reflects their level of refinement.
Literature (you all know I would love this part) was my favorite section in his talk because this is something that has mattered to me all my life. I buy books so my children will be surrounded by the highest quality of reading material. I won't for a second lay claim to knowing what entails a "classic" other than my own definition, but we all know which books have affected us in positive ways. I know libraries are around and that's great, but I feel passionate about having many (hundreds) of quality books in the home so when a child has a hankering for a book and the library isn't an option, that child has access to the best books. Even the beauty of the book sometimes has an effect. For Mother's Day, Timothy started my collection of beautiful hard-back Austen novels (the cheap Barnes and Noble versions) by getting four of them. There is something about picking up a beautiful copy of an Austen novel that does something for my soul. The same with the exquisite hard-back copy of Leaves of Grass Timothy gave me early in our marriage. Beautiful books promote a bit of reverence in handling them.
Music is one area where I haven't always had very refined tastes. I thought most classical music was boring and only old country worth listening to. I have greatly revised my opinion in the past two years. Two years ago the cd player in my van broke. Rather than singing children's songs together, we listened to mom's (my) country station. That lasted for a day before I got tired of flipping the channel due to inappropriate language. The Imagination Station that played children's music when I was little and lived in Provo no longer existed. Irritated, and a little bitter, I turned to a classical station. The kids and I have fallen in love with classical. We've practiced identifying instruments (and improved greatly--at first all we could pick out were violins and trumpets . . . although we could easily be mixing up violins with violas), Miriam can pick out a lot of the Nutcracker music, we seat dance, we lead the music. Most important, and surprising, is that my children make up stories to match the music. We identify mad music versus happy versus sad. One day we were driving and all the music played that day had an animal theme so we happily guessed which animal was being represented by the music. Slowly, over the last two years, I've lost my ability to listen to any other kind of music for an extended period of time (except Willie). It's just too . . . frenetic, or something. It makes me feel agitated. My children and I have exprienced tremendous benefits from listening to classical music.
I had Timothy read the article with me tonight and we talked about sloppiness. He said the article made him want to replace our front door even more (it's falling apart and cracking and just looks awful). President Kimball used to talk frequently about beautifying our homes. It really does make a difference in how we feel when we maintain ourselves and our property. Timothy and I also talked about how long it takes to really make your home nice--time and money are not always immediately available. We talked about setting a good example for our children in our own deportment--making sure we cultivate refinement in our own home so it becomes second nature to our children.
Most interesting was our discussion of refined conversation--how we can teach our children to converse about a variety of topics in an intelligent and interesting manner. In Austen's day, "conversation" was one of the critical skills a young lady developed in order to be accomplished. We've lost that art. I'm not sure if we're afraid of offending or we're just boring that so many conversations tend to end up at movies. Is that really all we can talk about? We came up with a few ideas for ways we want to increase the refinement in our own home (Timothy thought the article was great, by the by).
To sum up, amen Elder Callister and thank you for the fabulous article.
I had numerous thoughts as I read through the Refined Home article, but when I got to the end all I could think was, "Wow! How timely, how needed, how important, and how inspirational." I also thought that a whole lot of people were going to be offended--but that seems to be happening with increased frequency when the brethren lay it on the line. Or maybe my hopeless naivete is rearing its ugly head again and people have always been offended when the brethren laid things on the line.
First, I have to agree with Elder Maxwell as quoted in the talk, "We . . . live in a world that is too prone to the tasteless" (57). Amen and amen. My students used to try and convince me that the Simpsons was humorous because I had a "no talking about the Simpsons in my classroom" rule. They didn't manage it. Mary Tyler Moore was asked once why she had stopped acting and she replied that she would love to be involved but had chosen not to because the shows were no longer tasteful and that "television no longer knows how to be funny." Turning off the television in our home (we don't have access to any sort of television, although we watch movies) was a no-brainer for us. Although some shows like Frazier had elements of true humor (word play and irony), most current shows rely on non-humor (bodily functions, crude situational humor, slapstick violence) to get ratings. If these shows are getting ratings as can only be assumed by their continued existence, then Elder Maxwell's stinging rebuke about tastelessness is proved without additional evidence.
Of course, if we examined many popular music styles and hit songs, the tasteless argument would be underscored and solidified. It was with some regret that I stopped listening to current country music, but the genre that had always emphasized lyrics and story-telling had become reliant on blasting instruments and loud-volume singing--not to mention that frivolous increase in swearing and songs like "I'm just talking about tonight" and pimp songs like "whose your daddy?" (Yes, I think Toby Keith killed country music.) There are still some great songs, but far more that hinder the Spirit and make me feel attacked. (Kami is going to mock me here because I've always been an old lady about loud music--I just have no tolerance.)
In short--tastelessness abounds. Elder Callister offered some valuable remedies and counter-actions we can take to prevent our own homes from harboring and fostering tastelessness. I thought it especially appropriate that he starts off by discussing how we speak. And yes, I'm opening myself up to mocking again because I don't care how accepted it has become, the words "suck" and "crap" still make me shudder. I love that in my home, the worst word my children say is "stinkin'" and I've already tried to repent and stop saying it. Truly, what the parents say the children imitate and the cleaner we keep our language the more pleasant our home environment.
Granted, Elder Callister was talking about more than just clean language, he was also talking about expressing ourselves clearly and eloquently. Language has always affected me deeply and I often thrill when I read words put together beautifully. For that reason I love collecting quotes that express great ideas in beautiful language. Truly, a person's language greatly reflects their level of refinement.
Literature (you all know I would love this part) was my favorite section in his talk because this is something that has mattered to me all my life. I buy books so my children will be surrounded by the highest quality of reading material. I won't for a second lay claim to knowing what entails a "classic" other than my own definition, but we all know which books have affected us in positive ways. I know libraries are around and that's great, but I feel passionate about having many (hundreds) of quality books in the home so when a child has a hankering for a book and the library isn't an option, that child has access to the best books. Even the beauty of the book sometimes has an effect. For Mother's Day, Timothy started my collection of beautiful hard-back Austen novels (the cheap Barnes and Noble versions) by getting four of them. There is something about picking up a beautiful copy of an Austen novel that does something for my soul. The same with the exquisite hard-back copy of Leaves of Grass Timothy gave me early in our marriage. Beautiful books promote a bit of reverence in handling them.
Music is one area where I haven't always had very refined tastes. I thought most classical music was boring and only old country worth listening to. I have greatly revised my opinion in the past two years. Two years ago the cd player in my van broke. Rather than singing children's songs together, we listened to mom's (my) country station. That lasted for a day before I got tired of flipping the channel due to inappropriate language. The Imagination Station that played children's music when I was little and lived in Provo no longer existed. Irritated, and a little bitter, I turned to a classical station. The kids and I have fallen in love with classical. We've practiced identifying instruments (and improved greatly--at first all we could pick out were violins and trumpets . . . although we could easily be mixing up violins with violas), Miriam can pick out a lot of the Nutcracker music, we seat dance, we lead the music. Most important, and surprising, is that my children make up stories to match the music. We identify mad music versus happy versus sad. One day we were driving and all the music played that day had an animal theme so we happily guessed which animal was being represented by the music. Slowly, over the last two years, I've lost my ability to listen to any other kind of music for an extended period of time (except Willie). It's just too . . . frenetic, or something. It makes me feel agitated. My children and I have exprienced tremendous benefits from listening to classical music.
I had Timothy read the article with me tonight and we talked about sloppiness. He said the article made him want to replace our front door even more (it's falling apart and cracking and just looks awful). President Kimball used to talk frequently about beautifying our homes. It really does make a difference in how we feel when we maintain ourselves and our property. Timothy and I also talked about how long it takes to really make your home nice--time and money are not always immediately available. We talked about setting a good example for our children in our own deportment--making sure we cultivate refinement in our own home so it becomes second nature to our children.
Most interesting was our discussion of refined conversation--how we can teach our children to converse about a variety of topics in an intelligent and interesting manner. In Austen's day, "conversation" was one of the critical skills a young lady developed in order to be accomplished. We've lost that art. I'm not sure if we're afraid of offending or we're just boring that so many conversations tend to end up at movies. Is that really all we can talk about? We came up with a few ideas for ways we want to increase the refinement in our own home (Timothy thought the article was great, by the by).
To sum up, amen Elder Callister and thank you for the fabulous article.
Temple Fireside
So my old bishop is a bit of a temple scholar...published and what not. Anyway, he is having a series of firesides about temples and since Andrea and I were just discussing our lack of understanding of temples, I decided to post the notes I took here. As all the information he gives is from books anyway, I figure that's okay. Oh and this is completely unorganized and disconnected. Sorry, that is how my brain works.
First, Bishop Thomas is a psychiatrist who works running a research center on family studies (something along that line) and teaches occasionally at Northwestern a grad level brain physiology class. Basically these are his ideas or what he's studied, and you can take them or leave them as you will.
So he began be stating that when he went through the temple, he had no foreknowledge of anything and he was more than a little surprised. Hence his extensive search for information since then and his desire to help people understand and be prepared for the temple.
"We should give more attention to preparing our young people and some older people, for the work they are to do in the temple..It is not quite fair to let the young girl or young man enter the temple unprepared, unwarned, if you choose, with no explanation of the glorious possibilities of the first fine day in the temple." --John A. Widtsoe
He also quoted David O. McKay, who described his first temple attendance as focusing solely on the mechanisms and not the ritual or symbolism, hence learning nothing. (paraphrased from me).
Also, since most of our worship is didactic and we don't us icons or a lot a symbolism in our services (except the sacrament) we're not really used to symbolism in our religious culture so the temple comes as a bit of a shock. So in light of that, here's a list of symbolism that is common in our LDS culture:
"We live in a world of symbols. No man or woman can come out of the temple endowed as he should be, unless he has seen, beyond the symbol, the mighty realities for which the symbols stand. " John A Widtsoe
(Bishop Thomas addressed the whole topic rather academically by the way). He stated that temples EVERYWHERE in the world and every culture have the common theme of having the purpose to ascend to God. And usually set up in a three part structure: underworld (ie we do baptisms for the dead underground symbolic of this), earth or the preparatory part, and Heaven, which is to be in the presence of God.
Etymology of "Temple:" Latin (Templum):
The Garden of Eden--Mountains---tabernacle--- Temple (Soloman)---Temple(2nd)---Kirtland--Nauvoo---modern temples
He had a framed papyrus of Egyptian hieroglyphics of a dead Pharaoh passing through different sentinels making signs with his hands and holding cups of knowledge and receiving a new name, and finally joining the God Osiris (I think that was the one, I didn't write it down) in heaven and becoming a god himself. Hmmm.....
And for a few random tidbits:
He showed the first Angel Moroni weathervane that was a top the Nauvoo temple and pointed out several things. He's actually flying (as in flying in the midst of heaven) holding the BOM, wearing priestly robes, and having the symbols of a compass, and cross, and crown on it. Who knew? Not me.....
Stakes are actually symbolic of the stakes holding up the tabernacle (hence the temple) hence the stakes of the church are holding up the temple as there main priority.
Umm, and one funny story, he said Hugh Nibley (who I adore) wrote letters upon letters trying to get the presidency of the church to recognize their "mistake" in not having the entrance of the Provo temple face east. The whole thing of all the temples facing east is only a Mormon myth, and obviously, was not needed, since the Nauvoo temple faced west. (Hugh Nibley missed that, shame on him!)
Anyway, I hope that was enlightening, or at least, interesting. Next month I'll give you my notes from the next one. Oh, he also gave everyone a list of books related to temples and I can post that if anyone is interested. Just be forewarned that it's 5 pages long.
First, Bishop Thomas is a psychiatrist who works running a research center on family studies (something along that line) and teaches occasionally at Northwestern a grad level brain physiology class. Basically these are his ideas or what he's studied, and you can take them or leave them as you will.
So he began be stating that when he went through the temple, he had no foreknowledge of anything and he was more than a little surprised. Hence his extensive search for information since then and his desire to help people understand and be prepared for the temple.
"We should give more attention to preparing our young people and some older people, for the work they are to do in the temple..It is not quite fair to let the young girl or young man enter the temple unprepared, unwarned, if you choose, with no explanation of the glorious possibilities of the first fine day in the temple." --John A. Widtsoe
He also quoted David O. McKay, who described his first temple attendance as focusing solely on the mechanisms and not the ritual or symbolism, hence learning nothing. (paraphrased from me).
Also, since most of our worship is didactic and we don't us icons or a lot a symbolism in our services (except the sacrament) we're not really used to symbolism in our religious culture so the temple comes as a bit of a shock. So in light of that, here's a list of symbolism that is common in our LDS culture:
- the sacrament
- baptism
- laying on of hands
- olive oil
- beehive
- sun, moon, stars
- 6 temple spires
- Angel Moroni
- LDS
- cloud stones/Ursa Major
- uplifted hand
- dark suit, white shirt -(I'll have to ask about this one)
- all-seeing eye
- 12 oxen
- temple
- temple recommend
- New Jerusalem
- White
- keystone
- cornerstone
- CTR
- stake
- ward
- Sacred Grove
"We live in a world of symbols. No man or woman can come out of the temple endowed as he should be, unless he has seen, beyond the symbol, the mighty realities for which the symbols stand. " John A Widtsoe
(Bishop Thomas addressed the whole topic rather academically by the way). He stated that temples EVERYWHERE in the world and every culture have the common theme of having the purpose to ascend to God. And usually set up in a three part structure: underworld (ie we do baptisms for the dead underground symbolic of this), earth or the preparatory part, and Heaven, which is to be in the presence of God.
Etymology of "Temple:" Latin (Templum):
- a space that has been marked (cut) out for observing heaven
- sacred space partitioned off from profane space
- navel of the earth (we're there to receive nourishment)
- designated space for communing with God
- Place where heaven and earth meet
- the primal hillock (Sumarian)--(this would be similar to Mt. Sinai idea)
- earthly representation of a heavenly pattern
The Garden of Eden--Mountains---tabernacle--- Temple (Soloman)---Temple(2nd)---Kirtland--Nauvoo---modern temples
He had a framed papyrus of Egyptian hieroglyphics of a dead Pharaoh passing through different sentinels making signs with his hands and holding cups of knowledge and receiving a new name, and finally joining the God Osiris (I think that was the one, I didn't write it down) in heaven and becoming a god himself. Hmmm.....
And for a few random tidbits:
He showed the first Angel Moroni weathervane that was a top the Nauvoo temple and pointed out several things. He's actually flying (as in flying in the midst of heaven) holding the BOM, wearing priestly robes, and having the symbols of a compass, and cross, and crown on it. Who knew? Not me.....
Stakes are actually symbolic of the stakes holding up the tabernacle (hence the temple) hence the stakes of the church are holding up the temple as there main priority.
Umm, and one funny story, he said Hugh Nibley (who I adore) wrote letters upon letters trying to get the presidency of the church to recognize their "mistake" in not having the entrance of the Provo temple face east. The whole thing of all the temples facing east is only a Mormon myth, and obviously, was not needed, since the Nauvoo temple faced west. (Hugh Nibley missed that, shame on him!)
Anyway, I hope that was enlightening, or at least, interesting. Next month I'll give you my notes from the next one. Oh, he also gave everyone a list of books related to temples and I can post that if anyone is interested. Just be forewarned that it's 5 pages long.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
BYU devotional
I didn't know it came from a devotional. Thanks for the heads up and the link--I'll be reading it too. No fair waiting for my commentary--I am curious what you all think! My commentary will be coming though, never fear. :)
Friday, May 29, 2009
Potty Training is FAR more important than Hamlet, I will agree to that . . . and far more grueling as well! :-) Good luck with that! :-)
Andrea - - I am hesitant to write anything about the Ensign article until I hear your viewpoints first. :-) Usually I don't read the new Ensign until the exact month (i.e. wasn't planning on touching this issue until Monday . . . I'm quirky like that!) . . . plus, still engrossed in the Conference issue. Anyhoo . . . due to your encouragement I read the Refined Home article. Wow! I actually have just printed off the full version, the original BYU devotional. So, I will be reading that, and then I will respond. :-)
JULIA
Andrea - - I am hesitant to write anything about the Ensign article until I hear your viewpoints first. :-) Usually I don't read the new Ensign until the exact month (i.e. wasn't planning on touching this issue until Monday . . . I'm quirky like that!) . . . plus, still engrossed in the Conference issue. Anyhoo . . . due to your encouragement I read the Refined Home article. Wow! I actually have just printed off the full version, the original BYU devotional. So, I will be reading that, and then I will respond. :-)
JULIA
Ummm....
I tried to get A Passion for the Impossible at the library today. Yeah, they said it wasn't in their system. Not even interlibrary loan. I don't know what's up with that, but I won't be reading it. Also I made it through two chapters of Dividing Lines. Then it was due back through interlibrary loan. So umm... that may be as far as I get too. I'm still working on Hamlet. I DID read a book on potty training though. First things first, what can I say?
Ensign
I know this isn't an Ensign blog--but seriously the June Ensign is PACKED with articles worth discussing. I've read most of it now (don't think I'm all that great--I usually read all of it in two days while promising to go back and really ponder the best articles, which I never do).
Have you read the talk about a Refined Home yet?? Read it, tell me what you think, I am oh, so curious.
Have you read the talk about a Refined Home yet?? Read it, tell me what you think, I am oh, so curious.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Reading List
List looks great!
I LOVE Elizabeth Gaskill.
Anxious to read House of Sixty Fathers
Just finished Dr. Laura's book . . . pretty good, not my favorite of hers, but we'll have lots to say I'm sure. :-)
I have to tell you our library doesn't have the Churchill book. And if they don't order it for me, I'm not going to pay $3.00 for interloan library (I don't even buy books to keep at that price most of the time). So, I'm really sorry if I don't read it. I want to . . . I just might have to buy it for keeps if I'm going to pay anything at all. :-) I paid $3.00 for the Dividing Lines book and never even touched it. SO . . .
Also, right now I'm currently reading The Hero and the Crown for the first time and loving it! :-)
JULIA
I LOVE Elizabeth Gaskill.
Anxious to read House of Sixty Fathers
Just finished Dr. Laura's book . . . pretty good, not my favorite of hers, but we'll have lots to say I'm sure. :-)
I have to tell you our library doesn't have the Churchill book. And if they don't order it for me, I'm not going to pay $3.00 for interloan library (I don't even buy books to keep at that price most of the time). So, I'm really sorry if I don't read it. I want to . . . I just might have to buy it for keeps if I'm going to pay anything at all. :-) I paid $3.00 for the Dividing Lines book and never even touched it. SO . . .
Also, right now I'm currently reading The Hero and the Crown for the first time and loving it! :-)
JULIA
Reading List for the Next Six Months
As you might have realized, next month we are reading WINSTON!! YAHOO!! Everyone must participate (even you Kami, I don't care how far behind you are). After that we'll be starting on our next six months list:
July: The House of Sixty Fathers
August: The Making of Modern Columbia
September: I am the Clay (Potok)
October: In Praise of Stay-At-Home Moms (Dr. Laura)
November: The Post-American World
December: Cranford by Elizabeth Gaskell
I'm sure Kami will update our list for us.
Happy reading!
July: The House of Sixty Fathers
August: The Making of Modern Columbia
September: I am the Clay (Potok)
October: In Praise of Stay-At-Home Moms (Dr. Laura)
November: The Post-American World
December: Cranford by Elizabeth Gaskell
I'm sure Kami will update our list for us.
Happy reading!
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