Wednesday, November 9, 2011

First of all, it is so funny to me how so FAR on one side or the other people are on this issue.  I could go on and have this same discussion about politics, parenting (spanking or no spanking, etc), homeschool vs. public school, etc...etc...etc... So, to me, this TJEd is no different than any other philosophy than others. 

Example:  Years ago I read A Joyful Mother of Children by Linda Eyre.  It  revolutionized my way of thinking as a mother.  I suddenly wanted to read everything by the Eyres and wanted to be just like them.  I read another book of theirs and loved it.  Then I tried another and was completely turned off by it.  I didn't then go swear off the Eyres as horrible people and say that I was never going to follow anything else they said.  Plus, neither of them have any professional degree in parenting (correct me if I'm wrong), so who makes them the experts anyway?  They, too, went on to publish curriculums for "Joy Schools" (which any mom could do if they put some thought into it)...yes, a $$-making venture.  And started a website with value-parenting ideas and whatnot...another $$-making venture.  It's what people do!!  You take what you want, what works for your family, and move on.  People do get very wrapped up in TJEd on both sides of the fence and I don't get it.  This is why I resisted the making of or being a part of a "TJEd group" here where I live.  Why does TJEd bring out all-or-nothing attitude in people?

Misfit in General
I do not like her style.  I will not condemn her the way she condemns others (though I'm tempted), but I will say that "contention is of the devil" and so to say things for argument's sake just might put her on the same side as those she's criticizing.  :-)  In general, I just stay away from her blog.  I do agree with Andrea that we do walk on eggshells sometimes with these sorts of topics (and in church culture) which is why I love Sister Beck...she is not an eggshell walker, nor is she acerbic.  :-) 

What I do agree with where Misfit is concerned...She said:
We don’t need TJED moms starting Princess Academies, sponsoring trips to Costa Rica to help the poor, or any of that. We need moms who will be at home, focused on their children....Distract the mother. Prey on her insecurities in her attempt at educating her children at home, and then get her completely focused on herself.

I have to admit, some of the TJEd stuff has made me feel this way.  That my mission is somehow outside the home rather than in the home.  I have felt the need (and will say desire) to do the 5 pillar stuff...the same way I felt I needed to rearrange my house with the right bookshelves and closets to have a true TJEd home AND the same way I thought I needed to have a chore system just like the Eyres.   I latch on, realize I'm crazy and take from it what I can.  It's me.  And thankfully, all the TJed stuff is just too expensive and not worth my $$.  :-)

Another disturbing thing is the fact that nearly all people who are following the TJED methodology label themselves as “TJEDers” or “TJED Followers”. They brand themselves in this strange fashion, and then become nearly religious in their adherence to this “belief system.”

I do dislike labels.  I dislike being part of a group and feeling like I can't veer off or be different than others who are part of the same group.  I dislike being exclusive.  And I do think there is a major unhealthy following in the TJEd circle. 

I have always been leery of the $$ schemes.  Not the original seminars, per se...that makes a bit of sense to me.  But the extra things...the books that continue to come out (The Student Whisperer?????  Lame!) and the Leadership seminars (LEMI).  Just seem lame to me and a way to make $$$.  

Disagree with Misfit:
So it’s you, not them. You need to study and get your Depth Phase and your 16 Pillars and your Levels of Leadership and your two towers, and then you will be qualified to teach your children? Meanwhile, they are just supposed to watch you doing this and get “inspired?” What a load of baloney.

This, I have come to believe, is a misconstrued take on the You, Not Them principle.  I think everyone on this blog would agree that women should be furthering their education.  Does that need to with formal degrees, or through TJEd 5 pillars or George Wythe?  NO!  But it is vital for our children to see their mothers stretching themselves in whatever they are learning, be it through their calling or an outside class or whatever.  Going back to that first quote though...we all need to careful that what we are doing is not taking us away from our families more than is necessary.  This is how I take the YOU not them principle:  let your children see you learning in some way, set an example for them in what you want them to be doing.  This does not mean you need to pull out the Saxon math books or feel guilty that you're not pulling out the Saxon math books just so they will miraculously be inspired to learn math!!  But it does mean that we do need to show them the process of example and WITH them (not separate from them).  DeMille says himself, "start learning and  pull them along with you."  I think that last phrase is much skipped over. 

Once again, please keep comments brief and as unemotional as possible. 

I'm sorry, but if you're going to post things on a blog to stir emotion, do not put this line on your post! 

Last Thought (I hope, as I'm sure you do too)
I have gone back and forth on the TJEd thing myself.  I think the 7 keys are great when focussing on the positive aspect of them, not the "nots."  A friend of mine read this book and said, "You mean, everyone doesn't think this way?"  I had to admit that this book was a good thing for me to get away from doing things just because everyone did them.  Does that make sense?  Not everyone thinks this way  (as Andrea does).  The same way as when I read 7 Habits of Highly Effective people or Dave Ramsey stuff.  It's great , but it's common sense to me and so it doesn't do much for me.  Using parts of the TJEd stuff has given me and my family some direction, given us some great ideas to implement and try, given me permission (so to speak) to read on my own (without neglecting my family to do so). 

On the flip side, I think there has been created a TJEd conveyor belt of sorts and a culture of elitists and a mentality of "your stupid and will not raise intelligent children if you do not do it our way" (which is totally opposite of what TJEd proposes to teach).  Again, why is there such a stir?  Is it really that bad or really that good?  It's just a philosophy, isn't it?! 

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