First of all THANK YOU for all of your comments on reading!! John really does love to read. He loves series, though, and so when he finishes a series it's hard to find another gripping series for him. I'm trying to do the whole author thing . . . "If you like this author, read all of those books" and then find authors who write the same way. So, yes, you are right, I am raising readers who love to listen to books on CD as well as hear me read aloud books they don't quite want to try on their own yet. So, it's all good! Plus, I think that is one bad thing I get from TJED is that I have too high of standards for their choices of books, so when I see them reading "kid books" I cringe inside, and that's when I think I'm not doing it right. So, as you all said: Reading is Reading!!
Also, this is a devotial site KELLY sent to me years ago. We really enjoyed it for awhile and thought the others of you might enjoy it as well . . . http://www.schoolofabraham.com/gospelprinciples.htm
Lastly, this discussion string has led me to ponder on core values and it hit me that the core values we should be having in our families are in the Proclamation on the Family, "Successful families are founded upon principles such as faith, prayer, repentance, love, respect, work, wholesome recreational activities . . . " So, I've decided those are going to be the core values I want my family to aspire to. Just thought I'd share that little epiphany I had. :-)
******************
I do have the Dividing Lines book. It's a bit outdated. And it cost me $3 through interloan library (grrr...) but that's okay. Now I'm more motivated to read it, because I paid for it! :-)
I didn't read Bronze Bow, I've read it a couple of times already. I liked it. :-) That's all I have to say about that.
Also, I'm reading Edith Wharton's Glimpses of the Moon. So far it's just okay for me. It's written a little too much like Fitzgerald and so that's a deterrant to me because I really don't like his books. However, I'm not giving up on it and will let you know how I feel at the end. :-)
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Book
Have any of you read "Home Style Teaching" by Dr. Raymond & Dorothy Moore? I read it ages ago and want to re-read it. But I remember liking it. I would be interested in your opinion. The Moores are considered the 'grandparents' of the home-school movement. I got a copy through the library.
Oh, and I am having difficulty finding a copy of the Immigration book to borrow - even through my library's super-search. If I do interlibrary loan I think it will take too long for me to get it read once I get it.
This is not a cheap book, by the way! I looked up just buying a copy and there aren't any good prices.
Oh, and I am having difficulty finding a copy of the Immigration book to borrow - even through my library's super-search. If I do interlibrary loan I think it will take too long for me to get it read once I get it.
This is not a cheap book, by the way! I looked up just buying a copy and there aren't any good prices.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
On reading
Okay, here's my blurb on reading. You do create readers. There are no ifs ands or buts. Children will only learn to love reading if a) they are read to; b) they are surrounded by good books (the fluff and the classics because the fluff is brain candy and just as enjoyable as real candy); c) they understand how integral reading is to their quality of life (reading signs, labels, price tags, etc.); and d) they SEE THEIR PARENTS READING.
Granted, your children are going to have their own level of interest. Derek didn't venture out of sport books for a long time and then he dove straight into Louis L'Amours--but he read. Wyatt didn't read as much--but he read. Ethan is one of the most well-read people in our family because Mom paid him to read out of his comfort zone. Youngest child syndrome and all that--but he read.
It sounds like you guys are comparing your own children to each other. Instead, spend a little time comparing them to the average student in the system. One year I asked all my students who had read a book for fun that year. I had TWO raise their hands. You don't have any clue what a true non-reader is like because it is impossible for you to produce them because of how invested in literacy you are.
So, pat yourselves on the back and don't worry about it much. Kami needed to worry about it because Ana came from a non-literate background and needed some serious prodding. She's come a long way too. Your own children can develop their reading inclinations more naturally.
As for quality vs. not quality books--as long as there is nothing morally questionable any book is great if your child likes it for free reading. For school--they need to be assigned out of their comfort zone, but free reading is free. Pure pleasure like fine dark chocolate.
Granted, your children are going to have their own level of interest. Derek didn't venture out of sport books for a long time and then he dove straight into Louis L'Amours--but he read. Wyatt didn't read as much--but he read. Ethan is one of the most well-read people in our family because Mom paid him to read out of his comfort zone. Youngest child syndrome and all that--but he read.
It sounds like you guys are comparing your own children to each other. Instead, spend a little time comparing them to the average student in the system. One year I asked all my students who had read a book for fun that year. I had TWO raise their hands. You don't have any clue what a true non-reader is like because it is impossible for you to produce them because of how invested in literacy you are.
So, pat yourselves on the back and don't worry about it much. Kami needed to worry about it because Ana came from a non-literate background and needed some serious prodding. She's come a long way too. Your own children can develop their reading inclinations more naturally.
As for quality vs. not quality books--as long as there is nothing morally questionable any book is great if your child likes it for free reading. For school--they need to be assigned out of their comfort zone, but free reading is free. Pure pleasure like fine dark chocolate.
Really Quick
Just a few thoughts I had--
Sports
I have a hard time with this because I don't want sports to take over my teenagers' life or me, myself be one of those booster club moms. However, if I knew I was staying here I would sign Ana up for the swim team which practices 3 times a week for an hour from Sept-March and then competitions. I NEVER thought I would ever do that with any of my kids so young, but frankly, Ana has little or no physical exercise. (And she loves to swim). I don't know if you knew this, but in Latino culture, the girls don't play. Leo said he never saw a girl play futbol his whole life till he moved to the states. And when I send Ana outside to play, she stands gossiping with the other Latino girls while watching the boys play futbol in the tennis court. I find that ridiculous. Also, Ana's birth mother is diabetic Type II and obese, and obesity/diabetes runs rampant in her family and to be nice about it, Ana will never wear "slim" jeans. Not that I care about being "skinny", but I do care about her health and the more active she is as a child the better her chances of not getting diabetes for a long time (I think it's a matter of when, not if). Also almost all of the team sports here play on Sunday so I've had a difficult time getting her on any teams. Blah.
Also, the reason I said I was a bad parent Andrea, is because I avoid interaction with Ana. Remember that adoption book I read? Yes, I am avoidant, because Ana and I are so different, it's really hard for me to interact with her for any length of time. I think though, that it will get better as she gets older, barring her not going off the deep end as a teenager, because most of what annoys me is her immaturity, and I think she is more immature than most kids her age just because of her background. Not her fault at all. I just find it difficult. Although being around my nieces at the last reunion made me realize that all kids Ana's age are annoying. So maybe it's just me. This is why I won't homeschool. For now.
Reading
I loved to read but was a slow beginner. My dad once told me that he thought after all his smart kids he had finally ended up with a dumb one--me. Ruff. Anyway, forgetting my middle child angst, I read Nancy Drew and horse and dog stories in second, third, and fourth grade. Louis L'Amour in 5th grade. Ender's Game and Tale of Two Cities, etc. in 6th grade. And in eighth grade I finished War and Peace and Anna Karenina. Then I wasted time reading a whole lot of fantasy in high school and more modern classics like Catch-22 (probably one of my all-time favorite books). I also read a lot of historical fiction. Mostly though, I love classics. I love how well they are written, I love that they have depth. I love that you don't get some pat, predictable ending. Like I've stated previously, my favorite author is Edith Wharton. My husband feels neglected if I read (he's not a reader), plus my children and house ARE neglected if I read, so I try to be selective and pick books now that I think will be educational and that I can really learn from--hence why I joined this group of crazy homeschoolers.
To be honest, I always thought, even as a child that a lot of books were junk food reading, even though I did my fair share. You know that question in Anne of Green Gables, where she asks, "Would you rather be really good, really pretty, or really smart?" (That was a horrible paraphrase.) I would have picked smart hands down all my life. I took Latin because that was a "smart." I read a lot of classics because that was "smart." While that obviously got me nowhere, I still do honestly love classics. But as far as kids go, I try to encourage Ana to read more worthwhile books--kind of a TJed idea here. But if she's reading I'm generally happy and don't push her too much since she knows what she gets paid for or not. Plus I think if you're reading good books, you're more likely to enjoy reading anyway.
Also I do pay Ana for memorizing poems too. That's her only other way to earn money. I don't pay for chores nor do I think I ever will, because I feel that is a responsibility a child should have as part of being in a family and having all the things parents provide. That has been excessively portrayed to me since marrying Leo. He gave his parents a whole semester's tuition that he had saved for his parents to try to save their business. He also worked to pay for bills at his parents house while in college the whole time he lived at home (and that was until he married me--typical of Latino culture). He gave his parents several thousand for the down payment on the first house they bought here in the US. And most of the teenagers in our ward work part-time and turn ALL their money over to their parents so they can survive here and then send whatever they can back to their families in other countries. While I don't want it to be that extreme in my own family, I certainly think my kids should learn to contribute to the family's well-being.
As for scripture memorization and stuff like that, Ana does her Fe en Dios and Articulos de Fe because it is part of her responsibilities, not any other reason. I do try to give her privileges along with being older. Like letting her pick one food she doesn't have to eat--the younger kids don't have that option. Also she gets to go with us to more things, like this weekend we're going to a dance performance. It's hard coming up with privileges though.
Sports
I have a hard time with this because I don't want sports to take over my teenagers' life or me, myself be one of those booster club moms. However, if I knew I was staying here I would sign Ana up for the swim team which practices 3 times a week for an hour from Sept-March and then competitions. I NEVER thought I would ever do that with any of my kids so young, but frankly, Ana has little or no physical exercise. (And she loves to swim). I don't know if you knew this, but in Latino culture, the girls don't play. Leo said he never saw a girl play futbol his whole life till he moved to the states. And when I send Ana outside to play, she stands gossiping with the other Latino girls while watching the boys play futbol in the tennis court. I find that ridiculous. Also, Ana's birth mother is diabetic Type II and obese, and obesity/diabetes runs rampant in her family and to be nice about it, Ana will never wear "slim" jeans. Not that I care about being "skinny", but I do care about her health and the more active she is as a child the better her chances of not getting diabetes for a long time (I think it's a matter of when, not if). Also almost all of the team sports here play on Sunday so I've had a difficult time getting her on any teams. Blah.
Also, the reason I said I was a bad parent Andrea, is because I avoid interaction with Ana. Remember that adoption book I read? Yes, I am avoidant, because Ana and I are so different, it's really hard for me to interact with her for any length of time. I think though, that it will get better as she gets older, barring her not going off the deep end as a teenager, because most of what annoys me is her immaturity, and I think she is more immature than most kids her age just because of her background. Not her fault at all. I just find it difficult. Although being around my nieces at the last reunion made me realize that all kids Ana's age are annoying. So maybe it's just me. This is why I won't homeschool. For now.
Reading
I loved to read but was a slow beginner. My dad once told me that he thought after all his smart kids he had finally ended up with a dumb one--me. Ruff. Anyway, forgetting my middle child angst, I read Nancy Drew and horse and dog stories in second, third, and fourth grade. Louis L'Amour in 5th grade. Ender's Game and Tale of Two Cities, etc. in 6th grade. And in eighth grade I finished War and Peace and Anna Karenina. Then I wasted time reading a whole lot of fantasy in high school and more modern classics like Catch-22 (probably one of my all-time favorite books). I also read a lot of historical fiction. Mostly though, I love classics. I love how well they are written, I love that they have depth. I love that you don't get some pat, predictable ending. Like I've stated previously, my favorite author is Edith Wharton. My husband feels neglected if I read (he's not a reader), plus my children and house ARE neglected if I read, so I try to be selective and pick books now that I think will be educational and that I can really learn from--hence why I joined this group of crazy homeschoolers.
To be honest, I always thought, even as a child that a lot of books were junk food reading, even though I did my fair share. You know that question in Anne of Green Gables, where she asks, "Would you rather be really good, really pretty, or really smart?" (That was a horrible paraphrase.) I would have picked smart hands down all my life. I took Latin because that was a "smart." I read a lot of classics because that was "smart." While that obviously got me nowhere, I still do honestly love classics. But as far as kids go, I try to encourage Ana to read more worthwhile books--kind of a TJed idea here. But if she's reading I'm generally happy and don't push her too much since she knows what she gets paid for or not. Plus I think if you're reading good books, you're more likely to enjoy reading anyway.
Also I do pay Ana for memorizing poems too. That's her only other way to earn money. I don't pay for chores nor do I think I ever will, because I feel that is a responsibility a child should have as part of being in a family and having all the things parents provide. That has been excessively portrayed to me since marrying Leo. He gave his parents a whole semester's tuition that he had saved for his parents to try to save their business. He also worked to pay for bills at his parents house while in college the whole time he lived at home (and that was until he married me--typical of Latino culture). He gave his parents several thousand for the down payment on the first house they bought here in the US. And most of the teenagers in our ward work part-time and turn ALL their money over to their parents so they can survive here and then send whatever they can back to their families in other countries. While I don't want it to be that extreme in my own family, I certainly think my kids should learn to contribute to the family's well-being.
As for scripture memorization and stuff like that, Ana does her Fe en Dios and Articulos de Fe because it is part of her responsibilities, not any other reason. I do try to give her privileges along with being older. Like letting her pick one food she doesn't have to eat--the younger kids don't have that option. Also she gets to go with us to more things, like this weekend we're going to a dance performance. It's hard coming up with privileges though.
More to Say!
I've always got more to say! Agh!
Andrea, along with Kelly, I know you're not a true TJEDer - - and in reality I wasn't full blown until a few months ago. But I see you as a natural TJED Educator because of your upbringing and philosphies already instilled. Have you read the other TJED book about the Phases? It hast like 36 ingredients, musts for true TJED families. Anyway, I thought that was a lot better than the Home Companion, you may want to check it out. Tons of great ideas. I can say we've struggled somewhat with making the older children feel it's a priviledge to be older. We're tweeking it and trying to figure out the best way to do it naturally rather than making a big production out of it. Our kids are all so close in age, they kind of all just mesh together (which is a bonus for the younger kids, but the older kids don't seem to notice much). I do sense recently, John's desire to be more independent and not so tied to the family. Kelly - - what do your kids "earn" after graduating from the Adult Classes?
One thought on the Gospel Study Time, too. I usually wake up before the kids to make sure I've showered and am well into my own study time so when they wake up in the morning they see me doing that. I don't do it just for show, mind you, but when my kids see me doing it it's much easier to encourage them to join me. Plus, for me I just know I study the scriptures so much better in the morning than at night, so if I want to do serious studying, it's then or never. Therefore, sometimes my study time might be ending just when they are waking up, so some kids end up getting maybe 5 minutes in, while some could watch a whole 1hour movie before I'm done. So, take that into consideration if you do start to do this. I no longer expect them all to wake up and start studying for just as long as Mommy does. It's their own time, and if they sleep in longer and miss out on that individual study, so be it. At least they are getting the devotional in the morning. :-)
(sorry, that was more just a realistic expectations blurb there - - and reminder for myself when my kids don't just jump right out of bed and start pondering the scriptures in depth!!!)
Thank you, Kelly for your thoughts on reading. I, too was a Sweet Valley & Babysitters reader, and I've always loved reading. My older sister has always hated reading. She used to love reading self-help and parenting books, and she LOVED the Twilight series, but other than that, she just doesn't like it and doesn't do it. So, yes, I know there are readers and non-readers out there. MY PROBLEM is that I'm wanting to create readers and not just letting it happen on it's own, naturally. Also, it's a comparing thing when I hear other families whose kids read all day long I tend to wonder what I'm doing wrong. :-)
I've got to stop writing. I've loved these discussions!!!
JULIA
Andrea, along with Kelly, I know you're not a true TJEDer - - and in reality I wasn't full blown until a few months ago. But I see you as a natural TJED Educator because of your upbringing and philosphies already instilled. Have you read the other TJED book about the Phases? It hast like 36 ingredients, musts for true TJED families. Anyway, I thought that was a lot better than the Home Companion, you may want to check it out. Tons of great ideas. I can say we've struggled somewhat with making the older children feel it's a priviledge to be older. We're tweeking it and trying to figure out the best way to do it naturally rather than making a big production out of it. Our kids are all so close in age, they kind of all just mesh together (which is a bonus for the younger kids, but the older kids don't seem to notice much). I do sense recently, John's desire to be more independent and not so tied to the family. Kelly - - what do your kids "earn" after graduating from the Adult Classes?
One thought on the Gospel Study Time, too. I usually wake up before the kids to make sure I've showered and am well into my own study time so when they wake up in the morning they see me doing that. I don't do it just for show, mind you, but when my kids see me doing it it's much easier to encourage them to join me. Plus, for me I just know I study the scriptures so much better in the morning than at night, so if I want to do serious studying, it's then or never. Therefore, sometimes my study time might be ending just when they are waking up, so some kids end up getting maybe 5 minutes in, while some could watch a whole 1hour movie before I'm done. So, take that into consideration if you do start to do this. I no longer expect them all to wake up and start studying for just as long as Mommy does. It's their own time, and if they sleep in longer and miss out on that individual study, so be it. At least they are getting the devotional in the morning. :-)
(sorry, that was more just a realistic expectations blurb there - - and reminder for myself when my kids don't just jump right out of bed and start pondering the scriptures in depth!!!)
Thank you, Kelly for your thoughts on reading. I, too was a Sweet Valley & Babysitters reader, and I've always loved reading. My older sister has always hated reading. She used to love reading self-help and parenting books, and she LOVED the Twilight series, but other than that, she just doesn't like it and doesn't do it. So, yes, I know there are readers and non-readers out there. MY PROBLEM is that I'm wanting to create readers and not just letting it happen on it's own, naturally. Also, it's a comparing thing when I hear other families whose kids read all day long I tend to wonder what I'm doing wrong. :-)
I've got to stop writing. I've loved these discussions!!!
JULIA
Crazy Homeschoolers tryin' to ejekate their young 'uns...
You guys are funny. I was going to say that I think you all underestimate your parenting abilities. And, you would be much happier if you do what I do: live in a state of denial about your short-comings. It's much nicer over here in la-la land. ;-)
GOSPEL STUDY
Ju - I had forgotten completely that before Kenna was born we did Gospel study every morning as our first school activity (thanks for reminding me!) - where we each studied individually.
Andrea - when I did that I did read my scriptures, but it was more to set an example than to actually learn. I did serious study on my own when children were sleeping.
I'm currently doing something different. Since we do Gospel study while I'm nursing, I read aloud from the Gospel Principles book and we talk about what it means. I think it's helped mykids learn more about the gospel. We also practice one of the primary songs that they're learning this year, because those songs are GREAT gospel teachers.
My independent readers have Scripture Reading on their list of morning jobs (along with get dressed, brush teeth, etc). Josh reads to the family before he goes to work - so we get lots of gospel study in...when we do it all! :-)
SPORTS
Love 'em!!!
We've done less than I want. We're going to do more family sports this summer. I'm going to do an exercise program with the older girls. I coach Brynne's soccer team - we both love that. But I've learned that even if all my kids just play one sport and do music and something else (be it Activity Days or 4H or whatever...) I start going crazy...because I have too many children going different directions! My parents did not let me play a team sport until I was in high school when I could get myself to and from all practices and games. And you know what...it was fine. I loved the sports I played and I actually did well. I'm not saying you shouldn't put your kids in classes. I have. But now I can't manage it with everybody unless I give up other things, which I'm not prepared to do. Circumstances change.
There is a book about physical fitness for homeschool families, if you're interested.
WORK ETHIC/MONEY
What can I say...chores, chores, chores! I don't teach work ethic through academics. I am totally on board with TJED in this area. If my kids don't do a chore well, they have to do it again.
It hasn't been until recently that my kids were interested in working to earn money. Money was not motivating to them. (Until Disneyland...that changed everything). Now it's making a difference. There is a great spot in "Farmer Boy" (Ingalls) where Almanzo's father teaches him the worth of a half-dollar. How it's plowing the field, planting the potatoes, and hoeing them. Gathering them, taking them to market, and selling them for a dollar a bushel. Almanzo can see how much work went into that half-dollar because he did it. I want my kids to get that concept.
We are doing the Adult Skills classes idea. My kids love them. They are invited to participate when they are at least 8. They have binders with lists of the classes. We check off what they've accomplished. They beg to do it. They don't usually beg to do math. But I'll tell you what - my 9 year old has been comfortable doing fraction conversions for quite sometime because cooking is fun for her. That's inspire, not require in action. That's what it means. The concept is learned through a way that she found interesting. It's the trickiest way to teach your kids - in the sense that you kind of trick them into learning, but especially because it is HARD for the parent/teacher to pull off.
RANDOM
Another link you guys might like is this BLOG written by moms who homeschool using TJED principles. They are all at various stages. I find it interesting and helpful. They post several times a week, usually.
Does anyone else feel like life is hard with babies? I had such a long gap - 4.5 years - between children 3 and 4. I think I got into some good rhythms and had a chance to really get going. But since then, and especially with the addition of #5, I feel like I can't quite keep on top of what I want to do. I'm tired! I'm tired of fun ideas getting interrupted or completely shelved because of little people. I am not good at managing it all. I admire people who have lots of children more and more and more.
READING
I just want to say a little thing about reading.
Some people probably are not going to be huge readers. If it's not their passion...you can't force it to be. There is an amount of literature reading that everyone has to do, just like math or science or whatever - but it doesn't have to be their favorite hobby.
My baby sister hated reading. She had a hard time learning, to begin with, and that developed into a hate of reading. She really hated to read. We couldn't understand why she couldn't just love it like we all did. Except, that somewhere in her early high school years she was assigned the book "Ender's Game". She LOVED that book. Since then she has turned into a reader. Granted, she started out by mostly just reading "Harry Potter" and "Twilight", but she's starting to ask my mom and I for good books to read (mom is thrilled!!!) and she's actually reading them and enjoying them. It took that one book to make her love reading. And it took until she was a teenager. But wow! What a great experience.
That's my little thing. But I want to know...what did you guys read when you were kids. I don't know about you, but I sure wasn't reading only great fiction. I read The Black Stallion series, I read lots of fantasy, Anne of Green Gables and other good books - but I spent a lot of time on Sweet Valley High and the Babysitters Club (Trixie Belden, Nancy Drew, etc). I read junk! I'm not ashamed to admit it. But I love to read and I read pretty darn good literature now. I hope my kids don't read as much junk as I did - but I think my big concern will be what is in that junk - as long as it's clean junk I think I'll be okay. :-) We have to have standards!! It's hard to know where to pick your battles. If I had a non-reader, I think I'd set my standards lower to begin with. But I don't know for sure, because I haven't actually done that route yet. Yet. I'm sure I'll have my turn. :-)
CORE VALUES
Surprise, I'm not going to comment because I think I'd pretty much echo everything already written. :-) Betcha didn't think I could do that - not give an opinion. My family would be shocked.
And last but not least - quite frankly Andrea, you say you're not, but I think you are a true-blue TJEDer whether you realize it or not. I think no matter what you do, your kids are going to get a leadership education (even if they go to...heaven forbid...public school!!!!) because that's just the kind of parent you are. Yay for you! You don't even have to try! :-)
And now that I've spent WAY too much time on the computer, I'll go clean something so that I look like a good homemaker.
GOSPEL STUDY
Ju - I had forgotten completely that before Kenna was born we did Gospel study every morning as our first school activity (thanks for reminding me!) - where we each studied individually.
Andrea - when I did that I did read my scriptures, but it was more to set an example than to actually learn. I did serious study on my own when children were sleeping.
I'm currently doing something different. Since we do Gospel study while I'm nursing, I read aloud from the Gospel Principles book and we talk about what it means. I think it's helped mykids learn more about the gospel. We also practice one of the primary songs that they're learning this year, because those songs are GREAT gospel teachers.
My independent readers have Scripture Reading on their list of morning jobs (along with get dressed, brush teeth, etc). Josh reads to the family before he goes to work - so we get lots of gospel study in...when we do it all! :-)
SPORTS
Love 'em!!!
We've done less than I want. We're going to do more family sports this summer. I'm going to do an exercise program with the older girls. I coach Brynne's soccer team - we both love that. But I've learned that even if all my kids just play one sport and do music and something else (be it Activity Days or 4H or whatever...) I start going crazy...because I have too many children going different directions! My parents did not let me play a team sport until I was in high school when I could get myself to and from all practices and games. And you know what...it was fine. I loved the sports I played and I actually did well. I'm not saying you shouldn't put your kids in classes. I have. But now I can't manage it with everybody unless I give up other things, which I'm not prepared to do. Circumstances change.
There is a book about physical fitness for homeschool families, if you're interested.
WORK ETHIC/MONEY
What can I say...chores, chores, chores! I don't teach work ethic through academics. I am totally on board with TJED in this area. If my kids don't do a chore well, they have to do it again.
It hasn't been until recently that my kids were interested in working to earn money. Money was not motivating to them. (Until Disneyland...that changed everything). Now it's making a difference. There is a great spot in "Farmer Boy" (Ingalls) where Almanzo's father teaches him the worth of a half-dollar. How it's plowing the field, planting the potatoes, and hoeing them. Gathering them, taking them to market, and selling them for a dollar a bushel. Almanzo can see how much work went into that half-dollar because he did it. I want my kids to get that concept.
We are doing the Adult Skills classes idea. My kids love them. They are invited to participate when they are at least 8. They have binders with lists of the classes. We check off what they've accomplished. They beg to do it. They don't usually beg to do math. But I'll tell you what - my 9 year old has been comfortable doing fraction conversions for quite sometime because cooking is fun for her. That's inspire, not require in action. That's what it means. The concept is learned through a way that she found interesting. It's the trickiest way to teach your kids - in the sense that you kind of trick them into learning, but especially because it is HARD for the parent/teacher to pull off.
RANDOM
Another link you guys might like is this BLOG written by moms who homeschool using TJED principles. They are all at various stages. I find it interesting and helpful. They post several times a week, usually.
Does anyone else feel like life is hard with babies? I had such a long gap - 4.5 years - between children 3 and 4. I think I got into some good rhythms and had a chance to really get going. But since then, and especially with the addition of #5, I feel like I can't quite keep on top of what I want to do. I'm tired! I'm tired of fun ideas getting interrupted or completely shelved because of little people. I am not good at managing it all. I admire people who have lots of children more and more and more.
READING
I just want to say a little thing about reading.
Some people probably are not going to be huge readers. If it's not their passion...you can't force it to be. There is an amount of literature reading that everyone has to do, just like math or science or whatever - but it doesn't have to be their favorite hobby.
My baby sister hated reading. She had a hard time learning, to begin with, and that developed into a hate of reading. She really hated to read. We couldn't understand why she couldn't just love it like we all did. Except, that somewhere in her early high school years she was assigned the book "Ender's Game". She LOVED that book. Since then she has turned into a reader. Granted, she started out by mostly just reading "Harry Potter" and "Twilight", but she's starting to ask my mom and I for good books to read (mom is thrilled!!!) and she's actually reading them and enjoying them. It took that one book to make her love reading. And it took until she was a teenager. But wow! What a great experience.
That's my little thing. But I want to know...what did you guys read when you were kids. I don't know about you, but I sure wasn't reading only great fiction. I read The Black Stallion series, I read lots of fantasy, Anne of Green Gables and other good books - but I spent a lot of time on Sweet Valley High and the Babysitters Club (Trixie Belden, Nancy Drew, etc). I read junk! I'm not ashamed to admit it. But I love to read and I read pretty darn good literature now. I hope my kids don't read as much junk as I did - but I think my big concern will be what is in that junk - as long as it's clean junk I think I'll be okay. :-) We have to have standards!! It's hard to know where to pick your battles. If I had a non-reader, I think I'd set my standards lower to begin with. But I don't know for sure, because I haven't actually done that route yet. Yet. I'm sure I'll have my turn. :-)
CORE VALUES
Surprise, I'm not going to comment because I think I'd pretty much echo everything already written. :-) Betcha didn't think I could do that - not give an opinion. My family would be shocked.
And last but not least - quite frankly Andrea, you say you're not, but I think you are a true-blue TJEDer whether you realize it or not. I think no matter what you do, your kids are going to get a leadership education (even if they go to...heaven forbid...public school!!!!) because that's just the kind of parent you are. Yay for you! You don't even have to try! :-)
And now that I've spent WAY too much time on the computer, I'll go clean something so that I look like a good homemaker.
Response to Ju
Thanks for the link--I hadn't even heard about it. Then again, I'm not a true-blue TJEder yet.
Sports: For me a must. First, it encourages kids to get moving and use their body. I have zero tolerance for obesity in youth. It is TERRIBLE PARENTING creating an epidemic that will affect our whole society in horrific ways. Sports are a good way to show (without lectures) that exercise is fun. Second, your kids will have opportunities to meet lots of people (and potential spouses) through playing sports. Kids don't have to be fabulous, but they should know the rules and be comfortable enough to join in. I don't want any of my kids sitting on the sidelines of anything because they don't know how. Third, it is family time. We play t-ball together, we play soccer, we play football. All those things get us outside building memories together. Fourth, my daughter is homeschooled and I want her interacting with kids her own age. That's the main reason I put such a high priority on Miriam being in a ballet class this coming year and why I put her in t-ball knowing full well she'll just dance around and have no clue what's going on. It's still good for her.
On the other hand, I know exactly what you're saying about sports taking over your family's life. I think letting them play lots of different things when they're little and the seasons are a few weeks and then having them be more selective when they are older and the seasons are more time-consuming is going to be my approach.
Gospel study time: THAT'S AWESOME!!! We have a devotional that consists of reading the Friend together, talking about a scripture, and singing a song of Emeline's choice--usually popcorn popping. I get up and read my scriptures before they wake up because I want to concentrate--but your idea is better. I'll have to give that one some serious thought . . . thanks!!
Work ethic/money: In the TJED home companion the author talked about classes that cover all the things you need to know to run your home. I fell IN LOVE with that idea and have spent a lot of time thinking about what classes I want my kids to have and when and what their reward will be when they pass things off. Also, I loved the idea the Eyres had about graduating your kids to adult status when they turn 8 and having them be part of the budgeting committee. We're definitely doing that. Also when they turn 8 they no longer get any sort of entertainment during Sacrament meeting and they don't get paid for basic chores anymore--only extra ones above and beyond. I think they'll feel proud--I would have.
Lastly, I've been thinking a lot about what I said about being a lazy potlicker when I was kid (I was) and being glad that Mom made me do things. Mom didn't have to do much "making" with me. I followed her around like a puppy my whole life. I wanted to be just like her. I had all the same opinions and priorities and thought she was the most wonderful person in the world. Maybe there is more to this "inspire" thing than I thought. I'll keep thinking about it and keep you posted on any new inpspirations. :)
Sports: For me a must. First, it encourages kids to get moving and use their body. I have zero tolerance for obesity in youth. It is TERRIBLE PARENTING creating an epidemic that will affect our whole society in horrific ways. Sports are a good way to show (without lectures) that exercise is fun. Second, your kids will have opportunities to meet lots of people (and potential spouses) through playing sports. Kids don't have to be fabulous, but they should know the rules and be comfortable enough to join in. I don't want any of my kids sitting on the sidelines of anything because they don't know how. Third, it is family time. We play t-ball together, we play soccer, we play football. All those things get us outside building memories together. Fourth, my daughter is homeschooled and I want her interacting with kids her own age. That's the main reason I put such a high priority on Miriam being in a ballet class this coming year and why I put her in t-ball knowing full well she'll just dance around and have no clue what's going on. It's still good for her.
On the other hand, I know exactly what you're saying about sports taking over your family's life. I think letting them play lots of different things when they're little and the seasons are a few weeks and then having them be more selective when they are older and the seasons are more time-consuming is going to be my approach.
Gospel study time: THAT'S AWESOME!!! We have a devotional that consists of reading the Friend together, talking about a scripture, and singing a song of Emeline's choice--usually popcorn popping. I get up and read my scriptures before they wake up because I want to concentrate--but your idea is better. I'll have to give that one some serious thought . . . thanks!!
Work ethic/money: In the TJED home companion the author talked about classes that cover all the things you need to know to run your home. I fell IN LOVE with that idea and have spent a lot of time thinking about what classes I want my kids to have and when and what their reward will be when they pass things off. Also, I loved the idea the Eyres had about graduating your kids to adult status when they turn 8 and having them be part of the budgeting committee. We're definitely doing that. Also when they turn 8 they no longer get any sort of entertainment during Sacrament meeting and they don't get paid for basic chores anymore--only extra ones above and beyond. I think they'll feel proud--I would have.
Lastly, I've been thinking a lot about what I said about being a lazy potlicker when I was kid (I was) and being glad that Mom made me do things. Mom didn't have to do much "making" with me. I followed her around like a puppy my whole life. I wanted to be just like her. I had all the same opinions and priorities and thought she was the most wonderful person in the world. Maybe there is more to this "inspire" thing than I thought. I'll keep thinking about it and keep you posted on any new inpspirations. :)
I'll Accept Psycho!
I once had a friend tell me, "Julia, we're all going to mess our kids up, parenting is just trying not to mess them up too much." It's TRUE! And the older my kids get, the more apparent it becomes to me! :-) So, yes, I'm a yeller. Yes, I have spanked my children (and hit them on the head, though not with my scriptures that I can recall!). Yes, I started out VERY authoritarian, now I'm more authoritative, and learning I can be quite permissive with some of my children (and depending on my mood I change styles!). So, I'm a ball of confusion for my kids!!!!
Now, onto the great topics we've been discussing!!
Answers to (more like thoughts on, because I don't have any answers) Andrea's questions:
How do you homeschool with a 2 year old? For me it's harder to homeschool with a baby than it is a two year old. I'm finally feeling like I can get stuff done again with Ethan turning two this summer. Now I can start involving him, letting him color while the others do their work, etc . . . Don't get me wrong, we do get lots of complaints when he accidentally (??) colors on the kids' work. :-) Eventually, the two year old gets bored and leaves us alone. I think when I try to tell him he CAN'T be with us, then he wants to be, so when I let him be with us until his interest runs out, it's easire. Secondly, we do A LOT of our stuff while he's napping! :-)
Age Limits: Technically speaking, there are no age limits. BUT TJED people suggest that the CORE Phase is 0-8; LOL is 8-12; and then the Scholar phase after that. But, not every child will follow that pattern. You may already have a love of learner and then have a scholar at age 10, or you may have a love of learner until they are 20! J. HATES these labels/age limits I so badly want to define (it's easier for me). He says that it's all supposed to just happen naturally and we as the parents are supposed to pick up on the transitions/changes and work with them according to our knowledge of the phases.
More Core Values: I know I wrote what was most important to me (scriptures, service, reading . . . ) but the core values are more so those traits you want you children to obtain. What kind of character do you want you children to be? I want my children to be hard working for sure! I don't want them to seek the easy way out, I want them to search for answers and have real questions and problems to solve. This is where chores come in (which is where I think Kami & Andrea are doing great!). I've been thinking about how I learned to be hard working and it was because we were helping Dad in the yard all the time! I don't remember doing much housework, but I'm th 4th of 5, so that could be an easy explanation! :-) My parents were not involved much in my education, they didn't push hard other than I knew they expected A's out of me, so I performed. A couple of my sisters would have benefited from a more inspire rather than require approach. So, that's something I'm watching for in my children - - which ones rebel when I expect and which ones don't? Other core values: honesty and gratitude! I loved Kami's mention of entitlement! There is so much of that in youth today it DRIVES ME CRAZY!!!!! I don't want my kids to think they get just because they are them. :-)
I'm not sure these fit in with Core Values necessarily, but along with Kami I will also require YM/YW Awards and the boys will get their Eagle Scout. Serving a mission is also high up there. I want my kids to be comfortable with sharing their feelings about the gospel.
How do you get them to love scriptures? First of all, I haven't said that we're there, YET! But, that is my goal and that is my passion I hope to instill in them eventually. For now, we do devotional every morning. This year we've been learning about the lives and teaching of hte aposltes. They've loved that and it was great when they knew who the men were during Conference. We also have structured "Gospel Learning Time" into our day. So, every morning when we first wake up we must be doing something with regards to the gospel. I study my personal scriptures. The kids can choose from many things: church movies, the LDS Friend website, reading The Friend, we have books on all the prophets up to Eztra Taft Benson they can read or listen to (books on tape), they can even just color while listening to church music. So, I don't make it a "You have to read your scriptures" it's just a time for focussing on the gospel. Also, I am working on creating a file of "Scripture to be Memorized" (just a recipe box w/ index cards). My kids can earn money through memorization. So far I've just left the choosing up to then John comes back with "Sam begat, so & so . . . " (you know those scriptures) and I think, "What does that have to do with anything!?!?!" So, I'm working on making that more meaningful. Again, we're not to that LOVE yet from them, but I'm at least trying to make it a part of our normal lives so it's not foreign to them when they go to seminary! :-)
THANK YOU KAMI for your comments on reading. I am one of those mothers who struggles with getting her child to read more than just AtoZ Mysteries (2nd grade level stuff). He's going to be in 4th grade. I think he just likes to finish in a day. He loves Roald Dahl. He loves Calvin and Hobbes. But once all those books have been read, he really struggles finding something else that makes him just want to read. For instance, he is now in a youth book discussion group (which I LOVE) and for that he is reading My Side of the Mountain. Well, he read his required ten pages and then came to me and said, "Mom, I have nothing to read." I said, "Keep reading MSM." He didn't want to. I asked him, "Do you like it?" He said he was loving it. Well, if he's loving it why is he looking for something else to read just because he finished reading ten pages?! AGH!!! It's just funny to me. If you like what you're reading, then read!! Anyway, I'm not sure if he's just going through an independent stage or what, but that boy had GOT to be reading bigger books!!! I think he senses how it drives me crazy, too, and so he provokes that along as well. :-( Give me some thoughts here! :-)
More on Music My rule (more unspoken) is that once they learn to play the hymns (real Hymnal, not easy) then they can choose to stop piano. I also want them to be a part of a musical group: choir, band, orchestra, even acting. There is so much benefit in being part of a musical group, learning teamwork, etc.
Any thoughts on sports???? My kids love them so far, but with five kids I can't have them be in everything. I want them to choose their favorite and go with it.
Andrea's Husband on Deadlines: This is one J. struggles with as well. That is why he wants all of our kids to test for GATE just so they have the pressure of taking a test that really means something (even though it doesn't mean anything to them if they don't care if they get in or not!).
And it's true we homeschoolers really beat to our own drums. Having the kids go to school once a week has kind of helped with that. However, in my opinion, this deadline discipline comes in by structuring your TIME not your content (another TJED principle). For instance, our daily schedule goes something like this: Gospel Learning, clean bedrooms, breakfast/devotional, group cleaning time, group learning time, lunchtime, individual learning time, playtime, clean up, dinner, etc. . . . There are not exact times attached to these chunks of time, but we do them as a family so the kids learn "Oh, I need to do this fast so I can be with the family." That is one thing to me that teaches deadlines.
The other thing to think about with deadlines is the thought that WHO sets up the public school deadlines in the first place? Who determined long ago that addition was to be taught in 1st grade? Who determined you need to learn Modern History in 4th grade?
Another big thing TJED stresses, I think, is projects. If we work on projects together and have them done by a certain date,that is learning about deadlines. The Scouting program and YW program will teach deadlines. In other words, there are plenty of ways to learn this principle. And, your husband knowing YOU, Andrea, and that you won't just settle should be enough to give him comfort that you're not going to let your children fail. Although, these are very valid points to discuss and ponder when making the homeschooling choice! :-)
Okay, those are my very unprofessional and not the most experienced points on these fascinating topics! :-) Now, I'm going to watch movies, play games and do laundry with my kids because we've had a BUSY couple of days and it's cold and rainy and I'm not in the mood to think about school!
LOL
P.S. Ans, do you ever follow the TJED discussion group? I like this blog better, more personal, but it's fun to kind of see what other families have to say on such topics.
Now, onto the great topics we've been discussing!!
Answers to (more like thoughts on, because I don't have any answers) Andrea's questions:
How do you homeschool with a 2 year old? For me it's harder to homeschool with a baby than it is a two year old. I'm finally feeling like I can get stuff done again with Ethan turning two this summer. Now I can start involving him, letting him color while the others do their work, etc . . . Don't get me wrong, we do get lots of complaints when he accidentally (??) colors on the kids' work. :-) Eventually, the two year old gets bored and leaves us alone. I think when I try to tell him he CAN'T be with us, then he wants to be, so when I let him be with us until his interest runs out, it's easire. Secondly, we do A LOT of our stuff while he's napping! :-)
Age Limits: Technically speaking, there are no age limits. BUT TJED people suggest that the CORE Phase is 0-8; LOL is 8-12; and then the Scholar phase after that. But, not every child will follow that pattern. You may already have a love of learner and then have a scholar at age 10, or you may have a love of learner until they are 20! J. HATES these labels/age limits I so badly want to define (it's easier for me). He says that it's all supposed to just happen naturally and we as the parents are supposed to pick up on the transitions/changes and work with them according to our knowledge of the phases.
More Core Values: I know I wrote what was most important to me (scriptures, service, reading . . . ) but the core values are more so those traits you want you children to obtain. What kind of character do you want you children to be? I want my children to be hard working for sure! I don't want them to seek the easy way out, I want them to search for answers and have real questions and problems to solve. This is where chores come in (which is where I think Kami & Andrea are doing great!). I've been thinking about how I learned to be hard working and it was because we were helping Dad in the yard all the time! I don't remember doing much housework, but I'm th 4th of 5, so that could be an easy explanation! :-) My parents were not involved much in my education, they didn't push hard other than I knew they expected A's out of me, so I performed. A couple of my sisters would have benefited from a more inspire rather than require approach. So, that's something I'm watching for in my children - - which ones rebel when I expect and which ones don't? Other core values: honesty and gratitude! I loved Kami's mention of entitlement! There is so much of that in youth today it DRIVES ME CRAZY!!!!! I don't want my kids to think they get just because they are them. :-)
I'm not sure these fit in with Core Values necessarily, but along with Kami I will also require YM/YW Awards and the boys will get their Eagle Scout. Serving a mission is also high up there. I want my kids to be comfortable with sharing their feelings about the gospel.
How do you get them to love scriptures? First of all, I haven't said that we're there, YET! But, that is my goal and that is my passion I hope to instill in them eventually. For now, we do devotional every morning. This year we've been learning about the lives and teaching of hte aposltes. They've loved that and it was great when they knew who the men were during Conference. We also have structured "Gospel Learning Time" into our day. So, every morning when we first wake up we must be doing something with regards to the gospel. I study my personal scriptures. The kids can choose from many things: church movies, the LDS Friend website, reading The Friend, we have books on all the prophets up to Eztra Taft Benson they can read or listen to (books on tape), they can even just color while listening to church music. So, I don't make it a "You have to read your scriptures" it's just a time for focussing on the gospel. Also, I am working on creating a file of "Scripture to be Memorized" (just a recipe box w/ index cards). My kids can earn money through memorization. So far I've just left the choosing up to then John comes back with "Sam begat, so & so . . . " (you know those scriptures) and I think, "What does that have to do with anything!?!?!" So, I'm working on making that more meaningful. Again, we're not to that LOVE yet from them, but I'm at least trying to make it a part of our normal lives so it's not foreign to them when they go to seminary! :-)
THANK YOU KAMI for your comments on reading. I am one of those mothers who struggles with getting her child to read more than just AtoZ Mysteries (2nd grade level stuff). He's going to be in 4th grade. I think he just likes to finish in a day. He loves Roald Dahl. He loves Calvin and Hobbes. But once all those books have been read, he really struggles finding something else that makes him just want to read. For instance, he is now in a youth book discussion group (which I LOVE) and for that he is reading My Side of the Mountain. Well, he read his required ten pages and then came to me and said, "Mom, I have nothing to read." I said, "Keep reading MSM." He didn't want to. I asked him, "Do you like it?" He said he was loving it. Well, if he's loving it why is he looking for something else to read just because he finished reading ten pages?! AGH!!! It's just funny to me. If you like what you're reading, then read!! Anyway, I'm not sure if he's just going through an independent stage or what, but that boy had GOT to be reading bigger books!!! I think he senses how it drives me crazy, too, and so he provokes that along as well. :-( Give me some thoughts here! :-)
More on Music My rule (more unspoken) is that once they learn to play the hymns (real Hymnal, not easy) then they can choose to stop piano. I also want them to be a part of a musical group: choir, band, orchestra, even acting. There is so much benefit in being part of a musical group, learning teamwork, etc.
Any thoughts on sports???? My kids love them so far, but with five kids I can't have them be in everything. I want them to choose their favorite and go with it.
Andrea's Husband on Deadlines: This is one J. struggles with as well. That is why he wants all of our kids to test for GATE just so they have the pressure of taking a test that really means something (even though it doesn't mean anything to them if they don't care if they get in or not!).
And it's true we homeschoolers really beat to our own drums. Having the kids go to school once a week has kind of helped with that. However, in my opinion, this deadline discipline comes in by structuring your TIME not your content (another TJED principle). For instance, our daily schedule goes something like this: Gospel Learning, clean bedrooms, breakfast/devotional, group cleaning time, group learning time, lunchtime, individual learning time, playtime, clean up, dinner, etc. . . . There are not exact times attached to these chunks of time, but we do them as a family so the kids learn "Oh, I need to do this fast so I can be with the family." That is one thing to me that teaches deadlines.
The other thing to think about with deadlines is the thought that WHO sets up the public school deadlines in the first place? Who determined long ago that addition was to be taught in 1st grade? Who determined you need to learn Modern History in 4th grade?
Another big thing TJED stresses, I think, is projects. If we work on projects together and have them done by a certain date,that is learning about deadlines. The Scouting program and YW program will teach deadlines. In other words, there are plenty of ways to learn this principle. And, your husband knowing YOU, Andrea, and that you won't just settle should be enough to give him comfort that you're not going to let your children fail. Although, these are very valid points to discuss and ponder when making the homeschooling choice! :-)
Okay, those are my very unprofessional and not the most experienced points on these fascinating topics! :-) Now, I'm going to watch movies, play games and do laundry with my kids because we've had a BUSY couple of days and it's cold and rainy and I'm not in the mood to think about school!
LOL
P.S. Ans, do you ever follow the TJED discussion group? I like this blog better, more personal, but it's fun to kind of see what other families have to say on such topics.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Response to Kami
Let me stop laughing first. Hee hee. No, I'm really getting myself under control. HAHAHAHAHHA--you're JUST LIKE MOM!!! AHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHH HEEE EHEEE.
I'm better now. Yeah, I'm totally authoritarian too. It doesn't bother me much. I TOTALLY agree with you about the need to find authentic ways to teach work ethic and follow through in a city. I think your music idea is fabulous. I just won't stop to imagine for too long how you would have reacted. Ha ha. No, I'm really not going to laugh anymore. I'm still much more firmly in the "make them do it" camp than the "inspire them to want to do it" camp. Then again, I was a lazy potlicker as a child and I know I wouldn't have done jack squat if Mom hadn't made me.
What's also funny is that I just posted about what a great day I had with the kids today (and we really did have a great day) but I did not mention the small episode where I was making the pie crust to go on top of the chicken pot pie filling and Emeline and Cowen were standing on a chair watching (I hate cooking with children). Emeline kept picking in and then she brushed a bunch of flour onto the floor, and I had flour all over my hands so I felt a little out-of-control of the situation. I yelled at her to stop touching. Then when she brushed another ton of flour onto the floor I screeched at her to stop touching. Then I took a deep breath, reminded myself that I hadn't yelled in weeks and that there must be a better way to solve this problem, picked up her naked-except-for-diaper body and stuck her outside on the back step and closed the door. And quite frankly, I didn't care about her poor cute toesies and our prickle infested backyard.
Two year olds are DEMONS. Besides, she was happy as a clam out there on her naked lonesome.
I also didn't mention in my cheerful blog post about scriptures and prayer when Miriam couldn't find the right page and started whining and whimpering, and I smacked her on the head with my scriptures. Ironic. It didn't hurt her much, but still . . . time and place made me feel less than impressed with myself. Especially as I'm opposed to physical punishment. Sigh.
You're not alone. Like I mentioned before--nobody is ever going to be real impressed with my parenting. Although you made me feel good this morning when you were talking about chores. I thought about it and my kids (Miriam and Cowen) can wash and dry dishes, clean mirrors/windows, clean the bathroom sink, and sort laundy all without supervision. Their Saturday chore is vacuuming their rooms, they put their clothes away, and they keep their rooms clean or they don't eat breakfast. They still struggle with making their beds, but they're working on it. They also vacuum, but the vacuum is heavy so they don't do quite a perfect job with that yet. And yes, we already covered that I'm an authoritarian work-a-holic parent who thinks modern parents do too much for their children and don't make their children part of the running of the household. One of my big core values--sharing the load a little more so children feel more involved in the success of the family.
Rambled on too long, but this is interesting stuff. I ran the "permanent homeschooler" idea past Timothy tonight. He expressed a worry about math education. Not surprising considering I had to add up on my fingers the answer to the difficult math problem Kami posed. He also expressed a worry about teaching our kids about deadlines since homeschool moms don't really flunk their kids if they don't turn things in on time. Hmm. I'll have to think about that one. He's tentatively okay with it though. Now, am I okay with it??
I'm better now. Yeah, I'm totally authoritarian too. It doesn't bother me much. I TOTALLY agree with you about the need to find authentic ways to teach work ethic and follow through in a city. I think your music idea is fabulous. I just won't stop to imagine for too long how you would have reacted. Ha ha. No, I'm really not going to laugh anymore. I'm still much more firmly in the "make them do it" camp than the "inspire them to want to do it" camp. Then again, I was a lazy potlicker as a child and I know I wouldn't have done jack squat if Mom hadn't made me.
What's also funny is that I just posted about what a great day I had with the kids today (and we really did have a great day) but I did not mention the small episode where I was making the pie crust to go on top of the chicken pot pie filling and Emeline and Cowen were standing on a chair watching (I hate cooking with children). Emeline kept picking in and then she brushed a bunch of flour onto the floor, and I had flour all over my hands so I felt a little out-of-control of the situation. I yelled at her to stop touching. Then when she brushed another ton of flour onto the floor I screeched at her to stop touching. Then I took a deep breath, reminded myself that I hadn't yelled in weeks and that there must be a better way to solve this problem, picked up her naked-except-for-diaper body and stuck her outside on the back step and closed the door. And quite frankly, I didn't care about her poor cute toesies and our prickle infested backyard.
Two year olds are DEMONS. Besides, she was happy as a clam out there on her naked lonesome.
I also didn't mention in my cheerful blog post about scriptures and prayer when Miriam couldn't find the right page and started whining and whimpering, and I smacked her on the head with my scriptures. Ironic. It didn't hurt her much, but still . . . time and place made me feel less than impressed with myself. Especially as I'm opposed to physical punishment. Sigh.
You're not alone. Like I mentioned before--nobody is ever going to be real impressed with my parenting. Although you made me feel good this morning when you were talking about chores. I thought about it and my kids (Miriam and Cowen) can wash and dry dishes, clean mirrors/windows, clean the bathroom sink, and sort laundy all without supervision. Their Saturday chore is vacuuming their rooms, they put their clothes away, and they keep their rooms clean or they don't eat breakfast. They still struggle with making their beds, but they're working on it. They also vacuum, but the vacuum is heavy so they don't do quite a perfect job with that yet. And yes, we already covered that I'm an authoritarian work-a-holic parent who thinks modern parents do too much for their children and don't make their children part of the running of the household. One of my big core values--sharing the load a little more so children feel more involved in the success of the family.
Rambled on too long, but this is interesting stuff. I ran the "permanent homeschooler" idea past Timothy tonight. He expressed a worry about math education. Not surprising considering I had to add up on my fingers the answer to the difficult math problem Kami posed. He also expressed a worry about teaching our kids about deadlines since homeschool moms don't really flunk their kids if they don't turn things in on time. Hmm. I'll have to think about that one. He's tentatively okay with it though. Now, am I okay with it??
You all are psycho.
Here's my parenting technique: Try not to kill my children or scream so loud that our neighbor turns up his R&B/hip hop music louder than it already is. Seriously. I'm not reading this blog anymore. You guys make me want to give my children away. Really, I'm an awful parent.
Really.
I mean it.
As far as music goes, I decided my kids would start in 1st or 2nd grade (Ana started as soon as she came to live with us in 2nd grade) and that they would have to take it until the end of 6th grade. No questions asked. 15 mins practicing, 6 days a week for the first year, and increase it five minutes every year after that. Counting out loud with the metronome. Double time if I have to remind her more than once to count out loud (actually I say this to Ana every day at least twice while she's practicing.) After 6th grade they can choose a different instrument, but I still want them practicing an instrument. Why? I want them to learn to work, I want them to learn to do things well and correctly--not half-heartedly, and I don't have a five acre farm that I can make them work on instead. Yes, I am a nagging drill sergeant. And yes, I probably should read a little more TJED and try to be a little more lenient.
As far as school goes, my daughter goes to public school. I think it's lame. I hate AR tests. They are so lame. I think my daughter worries way too much about what other kids think/like/don't like/what's popular etc. I think my daughter would still be that way even if I kept her home. It's a very common adoption coping stradegy (or maladaptation). The school asks each student to read 25 mins a day, free reading. I use that and require that it be from a chapter book. No Captain Underwear or whatever the lamesauce books are that Ana brings home periodically. I also bribe Ana to read books I want her too. $2 if it's off a list I created, $5 if it's in Spanish and a chapter book, and $.50 if it's over 100 pages and not on the list. She never reads the Spanish ones. I once refused to pay her for a Goosebumps book (I warned her before she started) because I said I wasn't paying for pathetic, lame books. Yes, I am tyrannical and very biased against Goosebumps. One time I was disgusted because I overheard this conversation at Ana's school, amongst another parent of Ana's classmate and her teacher (this was at the start of 3rd grade): "Well, I usually make my son read 25 minutes, but he always wants to reread the Dr. Seuss books that he has memorized and I'm just not sure how to get him past that point." Umm, make him choose something different?!?!??!
I also make Ana do a math worksheet every morning M-F before school that she can usually complete in 5-10 mins, depending on if she has to rework a problem or not. I also did timed drills with her for several months this year to practice adding and subtracting below 20 and then the times tables. It drove me nuts when I saw her counting what's 4+7. Errr... She doesn't do that anymore. Yeah!! The math worksheets review what's she's already studied this year or they are story problems which she needs the practice with reading comprehension.
Last summer, we made Ana do a lot of summer school for a lot of varied reasons. A) Ana was seriously lacking in any parental education involvement before she came to live with us--it was non-existent actually. We felt she would benefit from extra time studying. B) She learned English as a second language starting in kindergarten, another set-back if only in language acquisition. Also, she's had next to nothing as far as conversational practice with an adult outside of a school classroom, she's just amazingly clueless a lot of the time. C) We live in huddy apartments in a rather scary area, our other choices were let her play outside unattended or watch tv.
We started her with math, Spanish, and some reading and writing workbooks my Dad had given me. We cut it back quite a bit by the end of the summer, so she was doing less everyday. And instead of focusing on the reading and writing concepts in the book, we worked on reading the directions and questions closely and following them. Also on not misspelling words that are on that page. That drives me nuts. This summer, I plan on doing the same math worksheets as she is already doing but focusing on logic problems. She'll be doing the next level up in the reading writing workbooks, and Spanish again. Also, I think I'll let her choose one country a week and we'll do one activity a day about it--like a color a map, and then the next day look up music on youtube from there (pre-screened by me), or make a collage of pictures if we can find an article about it in my Nat. Geographic collection. Hopefully that will stay a fun activity and not a torturous affair like the rest of everything. Actually, math is generally okay since she can do the worksheets so quick, but she gets mad fast if she has one wrong and has to go back and fix it. She tells me all the time, "No! I looked at it, it is right!!!" Which makes me want to say, "Yep your right, I just told you it was wrong because I felt like torturing you." I really really try not to say sarcastic things, and that's one thing I can claim: only once or twice as a sarcastic comment escaped me. Phew. Because I have whole lot I want to say all the time.
So there you have it. I'm an awful, screaming, perfectionist, hormonal, authoritarian parent who nags constantly at her children. However, authoritarian parents do generally have high achieving children, which honestly, I do want my children to be high achieving. Okay, that sounds awful. But frankly, I took a regular old normal English class in 12th grade because it fit in my schedule and AP English didn't. It was my first regular English class since 6th grade. I never studied. I never did homework. I spent the entire class reading somewhere else in my textbook. And I only missed 2 points out of all the assignments and tests we had. I had like a 99.999% at the end. Seriously, if my kids are not in advanced classes, I will have issues. Only all my children will be awful, rebellious teenagers because I'm so authoritarian.
As far a core values, or whatever they are, I want my kids to learn to work hard (did I already mention that?); I want them to learn to think logically and express themselves well--at least in writing--I can't speak clearly, so I can't expect that; Leo wants them to learn to serve (not saying I don't too, but he's very adamant about that); Leo wants them to learn to be more financially responsible than I am (I'm working on that); I want them to learn respect and not feel entitled to everything--in that same sense Leo is wants them to recognize the privileges they have; and I want them to know the world--to be able to know the history and the causes behind what is happening in the world today. Also, I personally would like to learn more about politics and become more involved there and teach my children that. And I want them to complete their YM awards and YM awards. Yes, I know I need more spiritual things in there, but I was thinking mostly in school terms while writing this. Anyway, now I really have to go. Sorry, I spent all day yelling at my kids, but you know, it's really only my two-year-old that drives me batty and then everybody suffers for it. Errr.....
Really.
I mean it.
As far as music goes, I decided my kids would start in 1st or 2nd grade (Ana started as soon as she came to live with us in 2nd grade) and that they would have to take it until the end of 6th grade. No questions asked. 15 mins practicing, 6 days a week for the first year, and increase it five minutes every year after that. Counting out loud with the metronome. Double time if I have to remind her more than once to count out loud (actually I say this to Ana every day at least twice while she's practicing.) After 6th grade they can choose a different instrument, but I still want them practicing an instrument. Why? I want them to learn to work, I want them to learn to do things well and correctly--not half-heartedly, and I don't have a five acre farm that I can make them work on instead. Yes, I am a nagging drill sergeant. And yes, I probably should read a little more TJED and try to be a little more lenient.
As far as school goes, my daughter goes to public school. I think it's lame. I hate AR tests. They are so lame. I think my daughter worries way too much about what other kids think/like/don't like/what's popular etc. I think my daughter would still be that way even if I kept her home. It's a very common adoption coping stradegy (or maladaptation). The school asks each student to read 25 mins a day, free reading. I use that and require that it be from a chapter book. No Captain Underwear or whatever the lamesauce books are that Ana brings home periodically. I also bribe Ana to read books I want her too. $2 if it's off a list I created, $5 if it's in Spanish and a chapter book, and $.50 if it's over 100 pages and not on the list. She never reads the Spanish ones. I once refused to pay her for a Goosebumps book (I warned her before she started) because I said I wasn't paying for pathetic, lame books. Yes, I am tyrannical and very biased against Goosebumps. One time I was disgusted because I overheard this conversation at Ana's school, amongst another parent of Ana's classmate and her teacher (this was at the start of 3rd grade): "Well, I usually make my son read 25 minutes, but he always wants to reread the Dr. Seuss books that he has memorized and I'm just not sure how to get him past that point." Umm, make him choose something different?!?!??!
I also make Ana do a math worksheet every morning M-F before school that she can usually complete in 5-10 mins, depending on if she has to rework a problem or not. I also did timed drills with her for several months this year to practice adding and subtracting below 20 and then the times tables. It drove me nuts when I saw her counting what's 4+7. Errr... She doesn't do that anymore. Yeah!! The math worksheets review what's she's already studied this year or they are story problems which she needs the practice with reading comprehension.
Last summer, we made Ana do a lot of summer school for a lot of varied reasons. A) Ana was seriously lacking in any parental education involvement before she came to live with us--it was non-existent actually. We felt she would benefit from extra time studying. B) She learned English as a second language starting in kindergarten, another set-back if only in language acquisition. Also, she's had next to nothing as far as conversational practice with an adult outside of a school classroom, she's just amazingly clueless a lot of the time. C) We live in huddy apartments in a rather scary area, our other choices were let her play outside unattended or watch tv.
We started her with math, Spanish, and some reading and writing workbooks my Dad had given me. We cut it back quite a bit by the end of the summer, so she was doing less everyday. And instead of focusing on the reading and writing concepts in the book, we worked on reading the directions and questions closely and following them. Also on not misspelling words that are on that page. That drives me nuts. This summer, I plan on doing the same math worksheets as she is already doing but focusing on logic problems. She'll be doing the next level up in the reading writing workbooks, and Spanish again. Also, I think I'll let her choose one country a week and we'll do one activity a day about it--like a color a map, and then the next day look up music on youtube from there (pre-screened by me), or make a collage of pictures if we can find an article about it in my Nat. Geographic collection. Hopefully that will stay a fun activity and not a torturous affair like the rest of everything. Actually, math is generally okay since she can do the worksheets so quick, but she gets mad fast if she has one wrong and has to go back and fix it. She tells me all the time, "No! I looked at it, it is right!!!" Which makes me want to say, "Yep your right, I just told you it was wrong because I felt like torturing you." I really really try not to say sarcastic things, and that's one thing I can claim: only once or twice as a sarcastic comment escaped me. Phew. Because I have whole lot I want to say all the time.
So there you have it. I'm an awful, screaming, perfectionist, hormonal, authoritarian parent who nags constantly at her children. However, authoritarian parents do generally have high achieving children, which honestly, I do want my children to be high achieving. Okay, that sounds awful. But frankly, I took a regular old normal English class in 12th grade because it fit in my schedule and AP English didn't. It was my first regular English class since 6th grade. I never studied. I never did homework. I spent the entire class reading somewhere else in my textbook. And I only missed 2 points out of all the assignments and tests we had. I had like a 99.999% at the end. Seriously, if my kids are not in advanced classes, I will have issues. Only all my children will be awful, rebellious teenagers because I'm so authoritarian.
As far a core values, or whatever they are, I want my kids to learn to work hard (did I already mention that?); I want them to learn to think logically and express themselves well--at least in writing--I can't speak clearly, so I can't expect that; Leo wants them to learn to serve (not saying I don't too, but he's very adamant about that); Leo wants them to learn to be more financially responsible than I am (I'm working on that); I want them to learn respect and not feel entitled to everything--in that same sense Leo is wants them to recognize the privileges they have; and I want them to know the world--to be able to know the history and the causes behind what is happening in the world today. Also, I personally would like to learn more about politics and become more involved there and teach my children that. And I want them to complete their YM awards and YM awards. Yes, I know I need more spiritual things in there, but I was thinking mostly in school terms while writing this. Anyway, now I really have to go. Sorry, I spent all day yelling at my kids, but you know, it's really only my two-year-old that drives me batty and then everybody suffers for it. Errr.....
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