I saw this on Facebook

I saw this posted and shared on Facebook a couple of times.  I let it go at first, but after seeing it again and again, I decided to voice my opinion to the world.  Then I decided to share it here, because I wanted Andrea to read it.

The Modesty Line

So here's my response to this.

So, I don’t want to be offensive or anything, but I totally disagree with this article. I think at some point, we need to stop worrying about supposedly “sexualizing” our little kids, and just obey. To me, it has nothing to do about anything sexual. I let my little kids run around the house in all sorts of states of undress but I make sure they’re wearing sleeves and one piece bathing suits out in public. I do teach them about being immodest and modest, and yes I have had embarrassing experiences where they’ve pointed out to others their lack of modesty. I’ve had similar experiences with people smoking as well. Should I not teach them smoking is bad? I want my kids in good habits young so it’s not even a question when they’re teenagers. I don’t even care about them being used to it for when they go through the temple and start wearing garments. Garments lengths and styles have changed ALOT over the course of the years and really isn’t my main issue. The main point for me is that prophets have asked us to dress modestly and outlined clearly in The Strength of Youth what that standard is. It’s easy to obey or easy to not obey. I am so imperfect at so many things, this is one thing, like tithing, that is a no brainer for me. As Elder L. Tom Perry said this last conference, “We must not pick and choose which commandments we think are important to keep but acknowledge all of God’s commandments. We must stand firm and steadfast, having perfect confidence in the Lord’s consistency and perfect trust in His promises.” Anyway, that’s just my opinion. And as a side note, when teaching modesty I hope I correctly teach the message of wise judgement, not judging others. I doubt there is any validity to teaching modesty=increased focus on peer’s clothing. However, studies have shown that the younger a kid attends preschool or daycare, the sooner they are aware of peer’s clothing and what is “cool” and what is not (as in brands). Which has nothing to do with what a parent teaches, just their exposure to a peer group.

And here's the author's response to my comment:

Smoking is clearly bad for your health. Wearing something sleeveless… not so much.

On the note of making a good habit of what you wear when you are young, for me the fact that my child is wearing clothing is a good habit.

I think it just depends on what you feel you want the end result to be. It’s different for everyone, even though we all belong to the same faith.

For some, they want there to never be a question of what the standards are and they want to follow exactly what has been spelled out. If something was always the rule, then your teenagers can’t question it. Done.

I get that. I really do. It makes sense for a lot of people. And I am fine if that’s the way you want to go.

But for me, and many others, our children and teenagers are capable of being modest while wearing tank tops and shorter shorts, irregardless of what FTSOY lays out as approved/not approved.

As for what is outlined in the For The Strength of Youth, I think our leaders felt like they did need to draw a line to enforce what they felt should be the standard. Many members of our church need lines drawn for them. Look at mission rule handbooks.

While many feel that this spelled out standard of modesty is something that should be unquestionable obeyed, many members in our church do not agree with it.

I do not feel that we should be drawing a sweeping line in the sand for all to adhere to. What happened to the spirit of the law?

I cannot in good conscience teach my children that something sleeveless is bad. I just don’t feel like it’s immodest, regardless of age. I feel like the FSOTY drawing lines for us to then “just obey” is not the way to go.

Clearly, I’m more of a “spirit of the law” kind of gal.

I’m hoping to teach my children the spirit of the law and let them govern themselves knowing that their clothing choices are about them and how they feel in it. I feel that how they feel about themselves and being able to recognize the spirit is far more important than a spelled out dress code that is enforced by guilt and shame.

And here's what my sister Kayli said on the matter:

So I just skimmed the article, but I got the gist. To me, the thing is, I would have been fine if she had just said, "I feel that it's okay for littler children to have a bit different standard of dress that is appropriate." Fine- I personally don't agree- but obviously people feel differently about these things. But instead, she goes on and on about sexualizing and peer shaming blah blah blah, which to my thinking is only teaching that if we rationalize something, we can do what we want. Then her daughters are more ready to do that in junior high, when there's one fashion that for this or that reason is okay in this instance, and then when they're in high school, and then when they're married. Quit making excuses. I feel like she overkilled the issue, and it almost makes it seem like she's talking herself out of her own niggling feelings of guilt.

RS/YW Combined Activity

Here's what we decided to do for this session of our semi-annual combined RS/YW.  The value was education and our Bishop wants most of our activities to have to do with self-reliance.

Theme of Activities: Self-Reliance and the value Knowledge

May 28th, Financial Self-Reliance: The YW and the RS sisters who adopted them will hear from the Dean of the College of Education at Weber State about the necessity for women to have an education that will provide the financial support necessary for a family.  Following the speaker, the YW will have an opportunity to hear from a panel of women with diverse career skills and ask the panelists questions about their career choices and how well their careers work with mothering.

June 4, Self-Reliance through Basic Life Skills: ALL RELIEF SOCIETY SISTERS ENCOURAGED TO ATTEND.  This is our June Enrichment night,although it is a Tuesday night and not a Wednesday night.  We will start off the evening with a life-skills rendition of The Price is Right.  Following the game, our YW will have an opportunity to visit the displays put up by the RS sisters demonstrating the numerous life skills necessary to fulfill our earthly missions well.  We hope to encourage our YW to take every opportunity to learn because all knowledge is valuable and blesses ourselves, our families, and our communities.

June 11, Spiritual Self-Reliance: The girls will participate in three round-table discussions concerning the three ways our church leaders have asked them to step-up their game and start building the kingdom and their testimonies at younger ages.  These three ways are: 1) be prepared for and participate in Sunday discussions as per the new youth curriculum; 2) be prepared to serve a mission (whether or not you end up serving one); 3) participate in family history work and serve in the temple more frequently.  After the round-table discussions the girls will join together in the primary room for a musical number, testimony bearing, and a special gift from the RS sisters to our RS sisters-in-training.

(We bought the girls a scripture journal from the Red-headed Hostess.  You get a discounted price for YW groups.)

And yes, the Dean of the College of Education at Weber is my dad.  He has some pretty sad stories about women trying to go back to school with numerous children and no income to speak of.  I hope this goes well.  We're envisioning a kind of science fair project look for the June 4th activity.  I'm putting together a display about how much money we save because I make my own bread and I'll have bread samples there.  We have people signed up for lots of fun things, from crocheting to gardening to laundry soap making to toilet bowl cleaning.  Awesome.

We'll see how it goes.  :)

The Talk That Wasn't

Thank you Kelly, for your kind thought.  Sadly, the first speaker took up the entire meeting and I bore my testimony and sat down.  However, I told the bishopric that I wanted to give my talk so they said they would schedule me for  . . . sometime.  Hmm.  We'll see what happens.

Andrea, I hope your talk went well today!

An interesting read--want your take on it

I just read a really interesting article: "Ruby Slippers on Her Feet: Reflections on the Ordain Women Website" by V. H. Cassler.

I've gone to the Ordain Women website and was favorably impressed with the tone of the website (there is no bashing of church leaders, for example).  If you haven't heard of it, you will.  It is a website agitating for the priesthood for women.  They use this quote under the FAQ section:

In questioning Church policies, aren’t you questioning God?

No. In fact, the challenge to advocate for women’s ordination was articulated by former Church President Gordon B. Hinckley in a 1997 interview with reporter David Ransom. When Ransom asked if the policy on denying priesthood to women could be changed, much like it had for black men, President Hinckley responded, “Yes. But there’s no agitation for that.”

Ordain Women joins a new generation of faithful Mormon women who are rising up and responding to this challenge.

This quote always gives me pause.  What does it mean???  I've long believed, due to the temple, that women will have the priesthood in the hereafter and that the more stringent male/female roles outlined in the Proclamation will not really exist there.  Especially as I believe quite firmly that there will be no church in the hereafter, and only family units.  Since we are perfect equals in a marriage here and in the hereafter and creation can only take place in the Celestial Kingdom, it seems clear that those roles are more interchangeable.  

But I am still on the fence about ordination in this life.  Not that I wouldn't follow the prophet on this issue either way since there is no scriptural basis for preventing women having the priesthood, but I wish I knew for sure how I felt about it.  I really like that my husband gives my children blessings--it connects him to our children in a powerful way.  I certainly don't want the priesthood here in this life, and I don't feel that I have been in any way subordinated within the church as it currently operates.  

But then there is the quote by President Hinckley and the temple ordinances.  

So . . . enough about me.  Read this article http://squaretwo.org/Sq2ArticleCasslerRubySlippers.html.  I think she sums up a lot of how I feel--that I don't need to hold the priesthood to claim my power as a daughter of God and especially as a daughter of our Heavenly Mother.

Then read this: http://squaretwo.org/Sq2ArticleCasslerPaulsenPulido.html.  I'm downloading the article and am pretty sure that my mother's day talk in Sacrament meeting will be all about our Heavenly Mother.  

See--I'm not really for the priesthood for women--mostly because I don't want it, but I am for some of the changes being made like Mission Leadership Councils and articles in the Ensign specifically written to dispel old cultural myths (http://www.lds.org/ensign/2013/04/equal-partnership-in-marriage?lang=eng) about women's subordination to men because of the priesthood and more information about our Heavenly Mother (I want to know everything possible about Her!).  Does that make me a radical that those things make me happy??

I'm off to bed.  Would love to hear your thoughts.

Aaaaaaaargh!

Kami, that makes me SO MAD on your behalf. Argh! So frustrating!!! I wish I could write the school a strongly worded letter for you. >:(

Criminal Me

So I'm now into criminal activity. Yes, by keeping my daughter home for 8 days spaced throughout the school year, I received a letter today from my local police department informing me of my crime. And I quote, "This is a crime." Forget that Texas has THE MOST HOURS OF INSTRUCTIONAL TIME of any state in the country, (and one of the most in the ENTIRE WORLD) but I'm required to take my daughter to the school nurse to PROVE she's sick. And while I admit she wasn't sick all those days (she was some of them and oops, I didn't take her in--I QUIT jobs that required me to go in to prove I was sick) I did feel strongly that she needed a break. For example, two weeks ago after I got a note from the teacher that she hadn't been paying attention that day, I let her stay home, took her to preschool with her sister, let her play at the park, play with her friends, and spend almost the whole day outside. She's a bit temperamental (more so than my other kids) and had been screaming and upset at home as well. Problem solved, she was fine the next week and back to her normal self. But as the parent, I am obviously am so stupid and inept at raising my own children that I can't be allowed to give my 5 year a break from the long school day (more breaks are required by law for adult workers than my child gets). Because mental health is so OBVIOUSLY unimportant in this country, and no terrible crimes are ever committed because a child's mental well-being is ignored. 
http://www.centerforpubliceducation.org/Main-Menu/Organizing-a-school/Time-in-school-How-does-the-US-compare

Common Core Meeting

Thanks for the thought, Marilyn!!!  I didn't make it to the meeting but from what I'm hearing it was more of the same.  We don't want questions.  No straight answers.  Hoopla and hooey.

I did get a food order done, two sisters visited, my children fed, dog poo removed, and various and sundry other life details.

Good luck to us all tomorrow!

Andrea

I wish I could watch your kids for you.

Because I really want you to be at that common core meeting. And I am NOT good at things like that, I get flustered and cry. I would much rather watch your adorable children. :)

Mother's Day Talk

So now that I gave my bishopric the big lecture on getting high quality talks for mother's day--they gave me the opportunity to speak.  No pressure, right?  :)  Any suggestions would be appreciated.

I wish I had unlimited time to spend on preparing the talk but I am also teaching in RS the first Sunday in May and I'm supposed to be calling the sisters to repentance because nobody in our ward will accept callings.  (Currently the junior primary has teachers for only one class.)  I'm also supposed to be putting together an addendum to the visiting teaching message for May about the same topic.

I'm also supposed to be doing a ton of stuff for our combined RS/YW activity about self-reliance/knowledge.  I'll post details so you can offer suggestions when I have time.  Ha.  Time.

And this week I have three food orders to do and one commodities order and I handed off a needs assessment to my first counselor because I was feeling daunted by this week.  Plus we're supposed to do visits tonight in our meeting because the Bishop had a person that must. be. visited. this. week.

The bishop also wants me to meet with our prospective new second counselor to feel her out on whether or not she'd accept such an undertaking before the Bishop calls her in.

What I really wanted to do was attend a meeting tonight with the assistant state superintendent of education about the testing associated with common core.  I am vehemently opposed to common core and wanted to be on hand because I am pretty okay with speaking up in front of people and I'm not easy to push around on these issues because I'm a parent/teacher.  Can't pit me against myself.  :)  But . . . no babysitter to be found from 4-6 in the afternoon.  Wonder why they chose that time?  Oh yeah, they don't want people to actually learn about common core.  Sigh.

And I'm off now to tackle my day.  I came on to ask for advice for the mother's day talk and ended up rambling.

PS We're having our children's new favorite recipe for breakfast this morning: hulled barley cooked in blended up pears and water and cinnamon served with milk and craisins.  If you are interested in the details, let me know.  Barley has the most fiber of any grain and it is delicious.

Goodbye for real now.

Yes, my day does scare me, how can you tell?

Really now--I'm off.