My letter--any recommendations?

My name is Kami Latorre and I have two children in KISD and three more to follow. I am concerned about the enormous amount of time the K-5 children spend in classroom with only one recess.  I was dismayed when I received a minute to minute schedule of my child’s 7 + hour long Kindergarten day and found she had one 15 minute recess. 

As a nurse, I know that scientific research clearly shows that increased movement increases the blood flow to the brain, which in turn releases nerve growth factor which helps the brain grow, develop, and concentrate better.  It also releases hormones that counter anxiety, mellow moods, and increase happiness and self-esteem.  Even the CDC recommends at least 20 minutes of recess per school day.  Physical education classes are not held every day, so that does not make up the difference.

While I understand that KISD desires to educate children to a high academic standard and I support that, I do not believe that standard will be sacrificed by allowing the children a longer, or preferably, more recesses.  In fact, several academic studies, e.g. The Long-Run Impacts of Early Childhood Education, DeCicca & Smith, 2011,  I have researched have shown that many children, especially boys, are often not developmentally ready for long classroom days in Kindergarten, and their initial negative experiences leads to poorer academic performance throughout their primary and secondary education.  

Also, many countries that perform better than the US in international testing, have longer recesses and/or shorter school instructional time.  For instance, in Canada--which ranks higher and has a similar diverse population, school system, economy and culture--the province of Alberta requires 200 elementary school days a year and 950 hours of instructional time.  KISD has only 178 school days and Texas requires 1260 instructional hours. Hence, Alberta students are able to enjoy a relaxed schedule of starting later, releasing earlier, having two recesses and an hour long lunch break, while maintaining a high academic performance and healthy balance of work and play. 

I would urge you to increase the length and number of recesses in KISD for the K-5 grades.  If hours in the classroom cannot be sacrificed, then I would support lengthening the school year while adding more recesses and/or shortening the school day. I would also request that recess never be taken away as a form of punishment.  

My children deserve a robust education with opportunities for creative and engaging learning, as well as opportunities to release energy, move, be happy, and cope with stress naturally.  

Sincerely,

Kami Latorre

RS/YW activity

I am not chock full of ideas, but I can tell you a couple things I know.

One of our YW said that she wants to learn useful skills like budgeting, cooking, care maintenance etc., because she is recognizing that she will soon be living on her own and she wants to be prepared.

Fundraising in the church is discouraged, except under very specific conditions.  See Church Handbook 13.6.8, so anything you do there would definitely have to be cleared with the Bishop.  I'm not sure about soliciting materials - I know that the church is somewhat specific on that, but the paragraph about it was hard to find.  BUT, I love the idea of helping to set up the school room for the homeless shelter.  Are they gearing it towards adults or children?  You could make school supplies for kids like book bags, soft ABC books, etc.  Or make curtains or cozy cushions for seating.  Make mini chalkboards for practicing writing skills?  I don't know.  This is not my forte.

I like the idea of using your Dad as a speaker!  Especially if he's funny.  ;-)

Another educational topic would be First Aid, which is something from my growing up years that I have used over and over again as a Mom (thanks to the Red Cross babysitting class and Girls Camp for the knowledge!).

Your ideas so far sound great.  I am getting to be a bigger and bigger proponent of RS and YW meeting together more often.  I think YW need to think of Relief Society as an extension of Young Women, and not as a separate and totally lame program for old ladies. ;-)

Need Your Ideas

Hello Ladies,

I need you to get all creative for me.  Marilyn works in the YW program, and Julia and Kelly and Kami all have daughters in YW (or close to), so you should all have brilliant ideas for me.

The YW are meeting with the RS three times in May.  Our value is education.  Here are my ideas so far:

First meeting:

Opening exercises

Have someone (probably me) talk about the importance of an education and pass out a handout with various quotes from various church leaders about how critical it is for women to get an education.

Have a panel assembled of women with various educational/career backgrounds talk about why they studied what they studied and the pros and cons of their professional choices.  My sister did this when she was YW president and she had me sit on the panel.

I thought about closing with my dad or opening with my dad as the Dean of the college of Education at Weber and have him explain just how many women apply to his program who have met with some crises (divorced, widowed) and are trying to raise kids and go to school.  But . . . too much?  He's very funny.  I don't know--it was a thought.

Second Meeting:

No idea.  I mean, I've tossed around the idea of taking some tests that give career ideas.  I've thought about having my dad come that day and then when he was done talk about different career choices and how to apply for scholarships and how to graduate early or get college credit.  Too redundant with schools already talking about that stuff??

We also have to do a service project (guess we don't have to but it counts as their camp service project and we have tried to incorporate service each time we've met with the YW).  There is a homeless shelter in our area that is trying to set up a little school room so we thought we would find out what kind of supplies they needed and have the girls do something to raise money to get some of the items plus collect items from anyone in the ward that wanted to donate.

So maybe this night could be a bake sale or service auction--or a bake/service auction where the girls bring the items and then use the proceeds to help with the homeless shelter??  Could we do that as a ward activity on a Saturday?

Third Meeting:

Opening Exercises

Go to gym and play "The Price is Right" with a few of the YW.  Ask questions about laundry, cooking, organizing, cleaning, budgeting, menu-creation, etc.  Give prizes to the winners.

Have tables set up around the gym with one RS sister at each table (or at each end of a long table) showcasing one way that woman saves her family money by knowing how to do something or adds to the beauty/peace/enjoyment of her family by knowing how to do something.

After spending time going around to the tables, gather together again for a little 10 minute pep talk about how there are all types of education and every talent that you improve or every skill that you acquire will help you be more self-reliant, help your family be more self-reliant, and help you be more useful in the kingdom.

None of this is set in stone.  Just wondered, since you all know more than I do about this age group, what would be most useful for the girls.  ANY ideas would help me out.

(While you're thinking--we're meeting with the girls again the end of October and we've got nothing by way of ideas.  I think the value is good works.)

Loved this!

My cousin Steven Livingstone, posted this on Facebook, because he gets a lot of questions regarding natural remedies, etc.  He said this article pretty much matches his own feelings.  I loved it!!!  I guess it's the nurse in me.  I just wanted to share.  http://mobile.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/medical_examiner/2013/02/curing_chemophobia_don_t_buy_the_alternative_medicine_in_the_boy_with_a.html?fb_ref=sm_fb_share_toolbar&original_referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fm.facebook.com

Stewardship

I went to the temple on Friday night so I could get one last trip in before baby.  I paid a lot closer attention due to our discussions.  :)

When I left that night I was wondering a lot about stewardship.  We've talked about women's roles and whatnot, but the temple does indeed have parts that indicate men have an incredible stewardship/responsibility for their families.  For example, the new name.  We don't know our husbands but they know ours.

I haven't ever read about the priesthood with a husband's/father's role specifically in mind but I am curious about how that stewardship plays out or should play out in our home and in the eternities.

Does anyone have any good reading material about that?

Kelly,  I can't think of anything else we've done with the YW that would help you, but I am always trying to think of new ways to build the relationship between the two organizations.  In the handbook it says that one of a RS presidents main jobs is helping girls transition throughout their YW years into being RS members.

Everyone, this talk by Elder Bednar it is a game-changer.  For reals, man.  Read it.  Let me know what you think.

RS/YW

Andrea,
loved how you've incorporated the YW.  I'm going to share that with my YW president.  The girls did do a service project with the RS during the Christmas season.  They all went together to decorate a tree at the convalescent home.  The girls were FANTASTIC!  Holding hands, joking around, and singing with the elderly residents.  Many of the women told me later that they were impressed with how comfortable the girls seemed to be.  The girls enjoyed the evening as well!

If you have any more ideas on incorporating the YW into RS, I'd love to hear them.

Some more thoughts

Marilyn, Kelly, I have so enjoyed reading your comments.  These discussions have also led to some fantastic conversations with my own hubby.  We started with the pants movement, moved into some awesome fun speculating what "priestess" would entail and ended up on polygamy.  Those two hours were the highlight of my week.  It reminded me to chat with my hubby more often.  :)  Plus, my hubs always brings up things I wouldn't think of on my own.  That whole yin to my yang thing--or, in a less fun way of saying it--his brain just works differently than mine.

But I did have a few thoughts I wanted to share here on the blog.  First, I'm so glad you responded Marilyn.  I really don't think I was taught much in church or seminary while I was growing up about WHY motherhood is so fabulous.  I really don't.  I was taught lots of good things though.  All of my desire to be a mother came from watching my mom (Marilyn--good point that girls watch their moms a lot) and being part of a really fun family.  I didn't really understand that there was doctrine about motherhood or womanhood.  I just knew that it was what I wanted to do.

I think I would have enjoyed learning more about it, but I have always been predisposed to think about gender more than other people.  I do have a master's degree in masculinity studies, so that probably says something about my general interest in the topic of gender.  Even if I was more interested in it than the average girl, I probably wasn't ready to receive the information and make it a part of myself.

On the first Sunday of January I taught the Relief Society lesson and I talked about grace.  (This ties back eventually--hang with.)  I used Brad Wilcox's talk from the New Era called "His Grace is Sufficient" and then challenged the sisters to go home and read and study Elder Bednar's talk "The Atonement and the Journey of Mortality."  Yesterday I asked the RS sisters to share any thoughts they had about the talk.  Two sisters said that after they finished reading the talk they felt humbled.  They said they thought they understood grace but after reading Elder Bednar's talk they realized they didn't understand grace at all and felt a desire to dig deeper into the topic and into the gospel in general.

I thought of Marilyn's blog post.  Maybe things hit us hard when we are ready to receive them and not any other time.  And maybe there are things that stand out to us because of our interests/talents/abilities that might not strike other people with the same power.  I know that not everyone would have the same list of talks/articles that were life-changing as my list, but I know that other people study the gospel just as much and far more than I do.

Here's a portion of my list of life-changers:  the Bednar talk I listed above about grace.  AMAZING.
Elder Eyring's talk "O Remember, Remember" and
Elder Eyring's book To Draw Closer to God.

I bet your list is different.

My point is that after reading what Marilyn had to say and hearing those two sisters make those comments, I felt less  . . . upset . . . that I didn't know things sooner than I did.  I still want to preach with a voice of thunder to the YW about these things, and be an example of motherhood and womanhood, but the Holy Ghost has to teach these things and the girls have to be receptive to the message.  My own daughters though--I will make sure I teach these things whenever an opportune moment arises.

On a different note (and I realize this post is already too long), I really appreciated your idea Kelly of having the YW integrated more into adult woman responsibilities.  When I was called as RS president I read in the handbook that one of a RS presidents responsibilities was to build strong ties between the YW and the RS sisters.  The YW president graciously allowed the RS to take over 6 YW activities during the year.  Last year we met with the girls three times in May and the RS sisters taught the YW how to sew sanitary napkins which were then donated to an organization that sent them to Africa.  We have 11 sewing machines set up in the cultural hall with a RS sister sitting by each one to guide the girls as they sewed.  We did that the last two nights.  The first night I talked about the blessings of living in the United States and how much we should love our sisters around the world and then we taught the girls how to cut out the fabric.  It was a huge success.  We assigned one RS sister to each girl to take them little reminders about the activity and offer rides and help with the sewing.  We had two girls attend who hadn't attended in years.  It was awesome.

Then in October we met with the girls three weeks in a row to teach cooking.  We put the girls in groups of about 5 and sent the groups to different homes in the ward where they participated in cooking a meal.  The first week we taught a basic red sauce (that you could turn in spagetti sauce or pizza sauce, etc) and then gave the girls a handful of recipes that they could make once they knew how to make red sauce.  The second night we taught them a basic white sauce (roux) with all the recipes they could make using the white sauce (like cheese sauce and alfredo sauce and sausage gravy and biscuits).  The third week we met together in the gym and had a big taste-testing session where everyone (all the YW and RS sisters) brought something they were good at making and everyone tasted everyone's food and chatted.  It was a great success.

This coming May we are going to focus on education.  I really think this has been helpful in getting the YW and RS sisters to know each other better.  The girls were very responsive and the turn-out was great.

If any of you have any other great idea of things you wish the RS would do with the YW--let me know!  I'm the one who spearheads these things and I'm not always sure how I can best support the YW program.

You gals are awesome.  Thanks for "talking" with me about this stuff!

really quick

I enjoyed Andrea's dissection of the ways women feel unequal, and I pretty much agree across the board about the ones I see as places we could do better, vs. the ones I think are just sort of . . . weird. I've also been thinking a lot about Kelly's point about the boys starting priesthood responsibilities when they're 12 (home teaching etc.). I'd never thought about that before, but I agree, it would be awesome if there were some similar process for young girls turning 12. Then maybe we wouldn't have to focus so much on helping them "feel comfortable" in RS when they are 17-18, because they would have been slowly taking on responsibilities since they were 12! Really interesting. I think I might even bring this up in Ward Council and see what others think. (I LOVE our ward council; they are awesome!)

I was thinking about why it wasn't already like that, and I thought maybe one reason is that the dads aren't around/home as often to be showing their boys what the priesthood should do---like, the home teaching assignments help force them to be an example there?  Whereas the women, ideally, would be around their daughters all day---already having them help take meals around, showing them how to show charity as a RS sister, etc.  I remember helping my mom take meals to a lady in our ward with MS, every week for years---I helped her cook and take the meals almost always. So I guess maybe that might be why there is no program in place already?  But I still think (especially now, when many women aren't/can't be around their daughters all day any more than the dads are with sons!) it would be valuable to have something "official" in place.

The other thought I had is that visiting teaching is more about personal woman-to-woman talks, whereas hometeaching is more like, checking on the whole family, more formally----so, would that intimacy  be hampered by taking your 12-year-old along?  And, if you had to wait for your daughters to get home from school so they could go with you to do VT, then does it allow for the during-the-day visits that really allow women to share feelings, unrestrained by children/husbands being around? (Not that any of us homeschoolers have those kinds of visits anyway . . . or with young kids . . . ).  I don't know. What other "RS" responsibilities do you think the YW could have at an earlier age? I'm curious what kinds of things you were thinking of.

talking about stuff

I've loved reading all the thoughts that have been shared about this.  In my head I've been responding, or talking it out with my husband, which has made for some great conversations.  The following may be rambly, as I'm typing quickly to get some thoughts out before I get back to making dinner (Friday pizza night!).

At young women the other night, the girls were planning an activity in which they are going to make rounds over the next few months visiting several of the widows in our ward.  The president and I looked at each other and both said, "visiting teaching practice".  It was something that had been on my mind lately after listening to my husband call up one of the young men to go home teaching with him.  Why do the YM start doing REAL priesthood responsibilities as soon as they turn 12, and the YW don't?  The boys have their opening exercises with the men, they home teach with them, collect fast offerings, etc.  Proper priesthood behavior is constantly being modeled for them.  I don't see that happening with the women.  Why aren't the YW invited to go visiting teaching?  To bring meals?  I remember my first calling as a visiting teacher.  I was 18 and had no idea what I was really supposed to do.  And neither did my 18 year old partner.  I still don't know if I'm doing it "right" as I've never really had regular visiting teachers come to see me!   I could see that being an improvement - having the YW and RS work together better.

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We've been trying to impress upon the young women the importance of some of the lessons we've been teaching in class - lessons on family, homemaking, scripture study, etc.  They're not getting it.  They don't even WANT to have kids - so they see no reason to learn about anything remotely homemaker-ish.  They said they want to learn "real life skills".  I'm confused by what they want...I think THEY don't know what they want.  I think they're getting too many conflicting messages.    I don't want to force my personal feelings on them, but they obviously aren't grasping in any sense why motherhood would be a noble calling.

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But back to the pants movement.  I agree, Andrea, that their stated mission I DON'T agree with.  I also didn't think the venue was appropriate for the message.  So many of the reasons given that I heard from friends/bloggers, etc., made absolutely no sense to me.  One woman said she wore pants so that investigators to the church would feel more comfortable.  Really?  That's your basis?  How about you just say hi and sit by them for a few weeks so they have a friend.

I agree that so many of these women are suffering from a severe lack of understanding.  Definitely not understanding their role as a daughter of God.  Do they think that God is wrong in the organization that he created?  Because I think it would be very difficult to believe that God was wrong, and still have a testimony.  In which case, you'd have to believe that men have mis-interpreted God's word - (in which case I ask, if they have, wouldn't he have corrected us by now?)  I know that I appreciate learning more about this stuff.  I find myself feeling like you do, Andrea - why didn't I know this sooner??!!!  And then I want to tell all the young women what I know so that they can have that knowledge to aid them in their paths through life.  But perhaps Marilyn is right - perhaps that is not the way it needs to happen.  Maybe it's a necessary part of our testimony and our understanding of our purpose to come at this line upon line, gaining a greater understanding of the doctrine as we are ready for it.

. . .

PS (Update) Andrea I didn't read your new post (below) yet and I don't have time to right now (I guess we were writing our posts at the same time, hee hee) so sorry if there's something there that I didn't address or understand. More later, but right now I have to go! :)

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Gaaaa! Curse the inefficiency of writing things down (although I should be grateful I'm typing and not chiseling on gold plates, I realize). I have lots of thoughts to respond to Andrea's post, and I've been talking about them to my husband all week, but it's just such a PAIN to write it all down. However, I will try.

So, let me say first, that I share your frustration, Andrea, about these things being not-enough-talked-about and taught in the church. They do seem like essential and life-changing doctrines that should NOT be overlooked. But you asked WHY. So I will give my thoughts. First, I think we have to remember that the church is a huge, varied conglomerate of a billion (okay, millions) of different people with different ideas and backgrounds and so forth. I say that because I think any organization is hard to characterize with just a few generalizations, and when you say the mothers day talks are about "my mom was great because she made cookies"-----that is only partly true, right? Because I HAVE heard talks---and read books, articles, etc.---that teach these truths. The one you linked is an example, right? And I had run across that several times before you linked it. I'm not saying it shouldn't be MORE pervasive, because it should, but it isn't totally unknown either. When I run across Mormon/Feminist thought like this (stuff I like---that rings true to me and feels like an important addition to my understanding of womanhood) I don't necessarily feel like, "I've never heard anything like this before!", but more like, "YES! This fits in with the good things I have heard in the past, and refutes lots of things I never really believed anyway."  I guess to sum up, there IS truth being taught in the church, lots of it, and I've run across it at multiple times and from multiple sources, and it's been informing my worldview since I was in Young Womens!  I have been lucky and I've been in great wards, so I know I can't say my experience is "typical"---but I don't know that it's ATYPICAL either. I think we have to trust/hope that there ARE Young Women presidents (I hope I am one of them, ha ha) who are telling their young women about Eve and womanhood and motherhood. In fact I have used quotes from this specific article in my lessons before. So, we do what we can, and know there are others who are doing what they can, and while we can WISH it was more widespread, all we can really do is spread our own influence, you know?

Then along with that, I'm guessing your frustration comes partly from a feeling of "WHY wasn't I taught this sooner?! It's so important that I wish I had known it all along!"  Am I right about that feeling? Maybe you even think, "If I had known this, ______ in my life would have been totally different!" (Maybe I am mischaracterizing your feeling---but those are the feelings _I_ have, anyway.)  So I relate to that. But as I've been thinking about it, it really doesn't seem that different than all the other truths I am learning as I go along. And I'm only in my 30s, so I have no illusions that I've learned everything yet. So why SHOULD I have already had a total and complete understanding of womanhood and what it means for me and what it will mean in the eternities? What do I want, to have somehow known all this stuff when I was 12? Of course I didn't know it then!  I didn't know ANYTHING then! I didn't even understand what faith was (which I'm still learning), or what the atonement meant or what repentance meant or what sorrow meant or---anything. And yet, I know I was taught---I _remember_ being taught---several Truths about womanhood and how it WAS as important as the priesthood. Did I catch all the implications? No. Am I catching them now? Probably not, but I am starting to catch more of them, anyway, and the subject is expanding and opening up for me as I mature and start to have different questions and different experiences. Argh, it totally sounds like I'm trying to argue with you, and I'm NOT! I'm just saying, I think maybe the reason it feels to us like this stuff is so NEW and LIFE-CHANGING isn't because it was never taught anywhere, but because WE weren't recognizing/internalizing/caring about the truths when we DID hear them---because we didn't yet have the experience to  recognize them yet.  So, I can teach them to my young women, and I am trying to, and I will also try to teach my daughters. But I shouldn't be surprised if they suddenly as young moms say, "WOW! This stuff is so amazing, why didn't you TELL me?!"---because that's the time when they really start to NEED to know it.

And the women who feel marginalized and lesser, and say "I always felt the priesthood was better and motherhood was secondary"----their experiences ARE valid, you're right. And we have to do something to reach them (which I think is just the same thing I've been saying---trying to teach it as best we can, within our sphere of influence).  But I also hate letting them have the only voice, because their experience is not MORE valid than mine, and mine is: I've always known motherhood and womanhood is mind-blowing and glorious, I've always been grateful for it, I've never wanted to be a man, I've always loved and respected Eve. (Well---as long as I can remember, anyway. As long as I've been thinking about such things.)  I've recognized truths about these doctrines as I've found them (in various places---church, BYU, seminary), all along my journey to understanding, and I feel like I've been able to gather and digest more and more of them as I've been getting older. And I hope that will continue until I'm a total expert on the purpose and destiny of womanhood when I'm 90. :)  I think the doctrine has been there all along (some of Joseph Smith's statements on women are amazing!) and we just have to recognize it.

And, of course, we could emphasize it more---I agree with you there. We have to help young girls NOT feel lesser, but what can "the church" really do to make all the teachers, with their varied backgrounds and teaching methods, somehow all get on the same page? I think we just have to do it ourselves, bit by bit. Teach our daughters and our sons (and ourSELVES!), and spread out from there. What else can we do?

Did I just do the husband thing of trying to "solve your problem" instead of listening and letting you vent? I didn't mean to. And I'm sorry your family was so lame about it all. It's so disappointing when you try to share something so cool and transformative (to you) and it's treated like some crazy theory instead of heart-shaking doctrine. Teachings like this are what give my life meaning. They're what make me happy and fulfilled as a mother instead of bored and frustrated. And when I DO get bored and frustrated, they help bring me back out of myself and show me what kind of work I'm a part of. They inspire me, just like Elder Holland's talk last conference about not turning back, once we put our hand to the work. So I'm totally with you on the amazing-ness of sharing this knowledge. I think, though, the best question isn't "why aren't these things not talked about more," but instead, "How can _I_ teach about these things more?"  Sorry if I took forever and did a bad job of actually saying that. :)