My Favorite Topic!!!

I love homeschooling philosophy discussions! My favorite!!

First of all, I was beginning to wonder if you were "normal," Andrea (which we both know you're not, but that's okay), because this is so normal to have these thoughts . . . and I think this has to happen in order for us to best teach and train our families. Secondly, most of what I might say here is stuff you already know, don't need to hear, other than the validation that YES you are doing a GREAT job and YOUR expectations for YOUR family are right on! :-) I just went through this whole thing a couple of months ago myself and realized several things you are currently questioning.

#1) Keeping our kids to public school level (not letting them get too far ahead). I have to admit I've done this with my children up until now for two reasons. a) I didn't want them to be too far ahead for that what I thought to be inevitable day when they'd go to public school. So far, no public school AND I'm realizing if it does happen my kids will be just fine. b) I never wanted to be the mother who was saying, "My kids are homeschooled and therefore they are two grade levels higher than they should be, and look at all the wonderful things they do . . . " Etc...etc... I just didn't want to gloat about my decision, nor make other think that my decision was better then their decision. It's just different, and better for MY family. :-) SO, with that said, this year I've come to grips with we are 100% homeschoolers and we will be until told different, so stop comparing to public school standards and teach your children!!

#2) Most of the things you were questioning, in my opinion, involved your CORE standards. WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY!? If you start making movies now, most likely the kids will continue. However, that doesn't mean you won't have at least one child who pretends to be hating it the whole time (just say they're the wicked stepsister/son). IF saving that 1/10 is important, that is what you require. If knowing every date in history is important to you, that's what you require. If playing music is important, that's what you require. I think the key is to INSPIRE NOT REQUIRE though. So, I'm learning it may be a requirement, but I'm trying to require in an inspirational way rather than a force-down-your-throat kind of a way.

FOR ME: What I have learned in the last couple of months is that I have a few things that are MUSTS in my home. Love of the scriptures/having gospel discussions; Service (my goal: to work with Special Olympics once a month); and love of reading. Those are the things that are most important to me. Those are MY passions. So, if I focus on YOU not THEM then I will hopefully INSPIRE those types of things. I'm also gaining a love for reading math books! I never thought I'd be able to say that. BUT because of TJED I'm really starting to "get it" and I love it. Still, I will most likely always have a math cirriculum to follow. That's just me, and one thing I will require.

So, again, I think you're just questioning YOUR CORE VALUES. That's what you're supposed to do. WE all need to do it. I look at your list and think that is so awesome! Before I had my own CORE VALUES LIST I would have looked at your list and thought, "Oh, I'm not doing any of that, I'm such a loser mom." Instead and I can look at it and say, "Way to go Ans! You're getting your CORE list a lot earlier than I did . . . Bonus for you!"

#3) I was also worried about the loss of childhood/growing up too fast thing. I don't think being educated is what causes that loss of childhood. I think the CORE & LOL Phases are all about having a way cool and FUN childhood. I love what the DeMilles say about how teenagers are different than scholars. Whose to say that because we had 'normal' teenage life, that that was fun and a scholar life isn't? We have a program here called Running Start where at the age of 16 the youth can start taking classes at the local community college. I so wish we'd had a program like that growing up. It's great, and it inspires higher education!

SO, long story short, I think your goals are right on! I think reevaluating time and time again what our kids are learning vs. what we want them to learn is a vital step in truly educating them. I'm not one to push too hard, I don't think I'll have those genius children who know their times tables at the age of two! I have a struggling reader at the age of 8. I have a boy who doesn't test well (and yes, we've worked on test taking skills). I have a 4 year old who knows how to tell time (didn't expect that to happen). BUT what I'm saying is that MY family is MY family! It's up to me to set those standards (and generally they are at level if not higher) and it's up to me in how I execute the plan.

One word on music: I started John at 8 on the piano. He was doing fine. Then, we switched books (because it was supposed to be the BEST way to teach piano). Well, it was fine, but nothing special. Then, a few months ago it became a horrendous chore! Holy cow, neither of us were happy. Finally, he played an Easy Hymn for family night and it all changed. I took away all the other books. I told him we were just going to play hymns. He gets to choose the hymn. He now knows several and can play them for FHE. Then, we discovered Book of Mormon Stories in the Primary book, wow! He learned that in just a few days. So, I think that is where the inspiring comes in. You watch, wait and listen for what they do latch onto. I also try to practice every day, so he sees what can become the future. I know he'll be ready to move on from the easy hymns someday, and he'll know, too. Different story: With Brooklynn I started her on Suzuki, more by ear. We were so impressed! J. and I were so excited and Brooklynn could play beautiful songs. Then, it just go too boring for her. She stopped wanting to do it. Since, I've completely taken her off of piano for now. She likes to write her own songs. Next year I'll start teaching her the notes, and then maybe she'll learn more by writing her own music rather than playing what others have already done. Either way, I've learned that I don't need to stress about piano. It is my goal to have my children play, therefore it will happen (in each of their own way). True TJED stuff there! :-)

So, overall, I think your goals are where they need to be for YOUR family. I think you're doing great! And I so wish we all lived next to each other. I need a good TJED group here to mingle with!!!!

LOL
JULIA

P.S. If you don't want to force practicing (music), find a local bell choir for kids . . . they just play together once a week, no practicing at home needed. To me, the PERFECT instrument for children! :-) (but that's not until they are 8+)

Education for our children

I think that you definitely posed questions that we all ask ourselves. I know that I have (and still do).

You may know that my oldest is experiencing her first year of public school this year. Let's just say that for me it has been a long hard year. My daughter did great. The initial adjustment was difficult for her (what do you mean I don't have time to play?) because between school, piano, and other activities her time was very much not her own. That was new and difficult. She has enjoyed her experience, learned a lot, made friends, and learned that she is glad I'm planning on her homeschooling next year (middle school has never been an option in our family). The strange thing is that even after watching Hannah cry multiple times (she's a perfectionist and tears are a natural part of her coping mechanism), my next daughter wants to have her year at public school. Which I think would have to be this coming up year because I'm not doing the 5th grade adjustment again (apparently the homework load increases between 4th and 5th grades). And yet, I really don't want her to go because I'm tired of doing the public school thing. I want my kids home with me, enjoying our time together. So that is something that I am having to think about right now. I don't think you are wrong to want Miriam to stay home. Families are meant to be together! I never see Hannah anymore. We never have time to do fun things as a family because we don't want to leave her out and she is too busy. I'm glad this was a one year deal for her. Maybe public high school will happen on some level - but it will be completely up to her.

You know the reason I decided to homeschool in the first place was two-fold. First, it was about logistics. There was only one school in our area that was not doing full-day Kindergarten (which I vehemently oppose as developmentally inappropriate for 5 year olds) and I didn't have time to do 20 minutes of driving each way to drop her off and pick her up - especially with a newborn. So we opted to keep her home just for that first year. The second reason was because she and I had had a ROUGH year (the year she was four) and I decided that until our relationship improved, sending her to school would be a bad idea. The way to improve the relationship wasn't to spend less time together, but more. And it worked. We both learned a lot about how to live together. What is it about oldest kids? Anyway, after the first year homeschooling we never looked back because we all loved it.


So about the music thing...that is a TOUGH area for me. If you read the TJED literature, they suggest waiting until the kid is begging for lessons, right? And stopping when it stops being fun. But based on the experiences in my own family, I have a hard time with that.

My mom decided she wanted all five of us to learn to play piano - the ward always needs a pianist! Her system worked great at first. I was too obedient to not take lessons. My next sister just loves music and has a natural gift for it. But trouble started with number 3 and kept going. My third sister refused to take lessons after 2 years. She put up such a fuss about it that my mom finally gave in. And once that precedent was set, it was easy for sisters 4 and 5 to quit, also. However, now that they are all grown, they all regret quitting because who has the time and money for private piano lessons as an adult! (As a side note, all three of those sisters played instruments in band and one is still playing hers with the community band - so they did learn instruments). If they had been pushed to continue over that stalling point, they would know how play! So I don't know what to do there.
My personal plan is to try really hard to make piano lessons something FUN. And to let my kids know that if they want to branch out to another instrument I'm all for it - just master the basics of piano first.

I'm also not starting them at age eight. I'm waiting until at least 9, preferably 10. Hannah started at age 9. She's pretty good and she seemed ready. My next daughter just turned 9 and she is not ready. Maybe next year. I did suggest to her that if she wants to learn another instrument (which she does) she could start learning music on her own with all of our beginner piano books. She's enjoyed that and can now play several beginner songs that she has taught herself. I think that's where the TJED stuff works.

I kind of think that as parents, as long as we are always thinking about things our kids need to learn and how we can improve - we're probably doing okay.

I also decided that I needed to have some ultimate goals; character traits and skills that I expect my children to have before they go off into the world. And once I know those, then I can make sure that our daily activities focus on achieving those. All other things turn into a bonus. I can't do and teach everything. I can't make sure my children are exposed to every good thing. But I can set the stage for a life-long love of learning and experiencing the world.

I could ramble on and on about things. I always think about homeschooling and how I could do it better. At this point I don't wonder if it's right. I think circumstances change (thus we felt that it was good to send Hannah to school for a year), but in general this is a good path for our family.

The Bronze Bow

While I have to admit that I would much rather respond to your post about TJED revisited, I figured I should take a few brief moments and give my thoughts on "The Bronze Bow". I finished this about two weeks ago but just haven't had time to sit and write much. I keep waiting for that time to appear, but oddly enough it hasn't!

First, I did really like this book. I love Young Adult books because they explore interesting ideas that are common themes in everyone's lives. No matter our upbringing, I think we all experience some similar feelings and thought processes as part of growing up. Andrea touched on most of these - including ones I hadn't quite thought of yet. :-)

One thing that I liked about the book was that Christ was more of a periphery figure - that the book was more about the journey of the characters than about their interactions with the Savior. It shows how He can have an effect on people just by being who He is.

I will admit that I spent a majority of the book waiting for Daniel to figure out what a jerk Rosh was. It was a predictable necessity to the story and I wanted it to happen so I could stop waiting. :-) I loved the character of Samson and I wished I could have learned more about him and find out how much he understood about what was going on. He was a great example of the effects of loyalty and love.

*****************

I just read a book called "Infidel" by Ayann Hirsi Ali. Anyone read it? It is her own memoir about growing up Muslim in Africa (with a brief stint in Saudi Arabia) and finally seeking asylum in Holland. Fascinating. She is only 8 years older than I am, but what a different life.

And since my baby is just now waking up I'm going to stop here. I want to think about the homeschooling thing and maybe get back to that later today.

Whoever chose this book - thanks! I enjoyed it.

TJED Revisited

I'm rereading some of my favorite homeschooling/education texts to get inspired for the new year. This year we've pretty much stopped doing anything but math and reading, although most of our reading is historically based. Except for George's Marvelous Medicine (Miriam loved it and I sat there inwardly cringing because I forgot how twisted Dahl can be) and Hot Fudge Pickles (one of my childhood favorites that Miriam loved and wouldn't let me stop reading until we finished the whole thing).

We've also been reading a book about Thomas Jefferson. After he left formal school he decided he wanted to be an educated man. Instead of spending the required six weeks to become a lawyer he dedicated five years of intense study to his profession and education. In five years time (from 20 to 25) he became fluent in six languages along with a rigorous study of geography, history and science.

When I read about Thomas Jefferson and Benjamin Franklin and even George Washington (who wasn't quite a Renaissance man in the same way), I think about DeMille's question: "Is the education our children are receiving on par with their potential?" Then I think about my Philippine student who was so dedicated that she wrote more gracefully in English after one year of English study than her American classmates. I also think of my Middle Eastern student who wrote more gracefully and thoughtfully than I do when he was a tenth grader. His education outclassed my students by an immeasurable margin. Granted, he was rich and had all private tutors and private school education. Still--the point I'm making is the potential is there in our children to reach levels of education that we have been taught to believe are not worth attaining because they do not help us in the job market.

I admit to straddling the fence on this issue in the past. Does it really matter if we are that educated? Does it matter if we can converse on all the major topics of the day, all the greatest literature, and know where every country is on the map? Is it a pride issue or is it a "whatever level of education you attain in this life will be for your benefit in the next" issue? (That was a paraphrase.)

Yesterday I was daydreaming about Kayli's husband, a biomedical engineer, getting a job in Logan (his interview is Tuesday--cross all your fingers and toes). In my daydream Eli had engineer inclinations and due to my homeschooling and his early college courses, Brett was able to provide Eli with an internship when Eli was 16. (Also in the dream was Eli going to live with Kayli for the summer, me missing him, and Kayli and Brett being impressed with my great parenting. Eli getting an internship is much more likely than anyone being real impressed with my parenting, but if you're going to dream . . ..)

That is the kind of thing that I always poo-pooed before. Don't make them grow up too fast, I thought. People learn what they need to know and not much more, I would think. Now, I am not so sure. Part of the issue is that I've been trying without really trying to keep Miriam from getting too far ahead of her classmates because I've always assumed that I'd put her back in the system eventually. More and more I've started rethinking that. No, I would never let her skip a grade but why am I planning on putting her back in the system? Why am I trying to hold her back???? In much the same way that I used to think homeschooling was weird and then changed my mind, I've now changed my mind about the parents who keep their kids home until they need a class or two at high school or the local college or university.

Would it be so wrong for me to homeschool Miriam and then have her start taking classes at Weber when she's 16 or so?

I don't know. Every once in awhile I feel this huge wave of guilt that Miriam won't ever have the chance to be in Kindergarten now because of a decision I made for her. Kindergarten was fun!! And she missed out.

On the other hand, she and I have really strengthened our previously weak relationship over the course of this year. She has daily become more and more delightful to be around. Her destructive tendencies have slowly dwindled. Her imagination is incredible. She loves to curl up next to me while I read to her or she reads to me. I can't stand the thought of ever sending her away for the bulk of the day.

In all my musings about my own choice to homeschool I have never once questioned my ability to do a better job than the school system. I worked in the school system. Miriam would do fine in the public school. She would excel. But she wouldn't learn more or be better prepared for college by the public school system.

So--as I think about this upcoming year and the pace I want to set and the avenues I want to explore my question is this: am I limiting my children? Am I failing to help them excel because I'm scared of where we could end up? If I decide to start down a path of excellence education (leadership education--Jeffersonion education, whatever you want to call it), I have to rewrite my whole life agenda and master plan. Am I ready to do that? Would that be the best thing for my family?

I don't want my children to be so attached to me and my family that they can't let go in a normal way (several missionaries that I know have returned home after a few weeks in the MTC because they missed mom too much). My own homesickness when I left home at 17 was severe. Are there other issues that I've forgotten about as I've thought about possible futures for my family?

Are my family goals feasible? For example, Timothy wants the kids to start a family business and I expect my children to contribute a tenth of what they earn to tithing and a tenth to a general family missionary fund. I want all my children to contribute to everyone's missions. Is that unreasonable? So far they don't mind, but they also don't know that a dime is worth more than a penny.

Another goal that Timothy and I have is to make a family movie every summer. Eventually the kids can do the whole thing on their own--including write the script. Will they still think that's fun after a few years?

I want all my children to learn two instruments--piano and whatever they choose. Miriam is dead set on the harp. Cowen, when I asked, said he wanted to play the trumpet. I didn't know he knew about trumpets. Am I up to forcing kids to practice???

Timothy wants the kids to learn Spanish. I don't even want to go there.

I want my children to write beautifully. That's the only thing I'm confident I can teach them without much strife. Writing is blessedly fun. If you teach it correctly.

WHAT AM I SETTING MYSELF UP FOR??

Sorry to ramble. I'm putting together next year's curriculum and these questions keep me up at night. Thought you other homeschoolers might have some thoughts.

The Bronze Bow

The Bronze Bow is a fabulous book for many reasons. The first and foremost is that it reminds readers of the political climate during Christ's lifetime. It reminds readers that many if not most of Christ's followers expected him to rid the Holy Land of the Romans. They wanted a fighter. They wanted a prophet who could call down God to exact vengeance on the interlopers. They didn't want to hear about love or sacrifice or mercy. They definitely wanted to hear about justice but they did not understand the justice of which Christ spoke. When the Romans killed the Savior, many of Christ's followers were bitterly disillusioned. Christ had failed them. The Bronze Bow is an accessible YA novel that makes all that real without scaring me off by being too in-depth or scholarly. I am not Kami. I do not thrive on Nibley.

Another reason the book is so great is it clearly warns against the dangers of choosing to become a follower of a fanatic. It is a touchy issue since Christ is one such character and yet Speare was able to warn of the dangers of blind, passionate loyalty to a person and a cause while still maintaining that such loyalty is not wrong--it can just be easily misplaced. For young people who are searching for something to be passionate about, there are many options today. Speare warns in her novel that before you commit yourself you should try to see the object of your passion clearly. You should think about all aspects of the cause you are joining. You should not act without deciding for yourself if your actions help your cause. Blind loyalty can lead down many dark roads. Passionate loyalty to the wrong cause can ruin your life.

And yet, young people want something to be passionate about. Look at the Muslin suicide-bombers. The desire to be such a person is easily understood. Great glory in the hereafter, bravery and honor in this life. It is a beacon to those who do not feel they have a purpose or for those who choose to hate because they have nothing to love. So entirely understandable. So incredibly sad.

Another thing that Speare warns her readers about is labeling. He is rich therefore we have nothing in common and cannot believe in the same cause. He is a Roman therefore he cannot be a son, a lover, a husband, a friend. If he is Roman he is not human. Because my sister cannot interact with others in a normal way she is useless. A burden. Because he saved my life I will follow him blindly until the end of my own. The main character, Daniel, is so real because he displays so many unpleasant teenager traits. He is selfish but thinks he is not. He is loyal but to the wrong cause. He thinks he knows better than anyone else. He will not ask for help. Speare cleverly points out the wrongness in his actions and thinking without being preachy. She doesn't make Christ the person Daniel wants him to be. She simply sets up Rosh's values and actions against those of Christ. Slowly, Daniel was led to question both men's values. Slowly, he gains the experience needed to evalute both men's actions. Slowly, the teenager develops.

I love this book. Yes, it is YA. Yes, Daniel drives the reader nuts periodically. Yes, it has its problems. Overall, however, I can't imagine a better way to approach Christ as a character in a fiction (albeit historical fiction) novel. Bravo Elizabeth.

coupon

The blog2print people just sent me an email saying the expiration date on the coupon was wrong and it is good for an extra month--so May 15th. If you want it, you can have it.

Sadly...

I don't think I'll be ready. Thanks, though!

Kelly

Hi, I just got my 20% off coupon from blog2print and it expires--those dirty rotters (as me mammy used to say). I can't use it by April 15th, and so if you want it--I'll post the coupon code.

oops

Loved it!

Andrea - I absolutely loved your essay on Hamlet. Loved it!! I don't have an essay. Can't form my thoughts, but I do have some great quotes. I'll post them later, I just wanted to say I loved your essay!

JULIA